DEAR DEIDRE: WATCHING my girlfriend have sex with other men turns me on like nothing else.
But even though being cuckolded makes me happy, I’m worried my fetish isn’t normal and might stop me having a healthy relationship.
I’m 31 and my girlfriend is 25. We’ve been together for 18 months.
A few months ago, I caught her cheating with a male friend. I was supposed to be on a lads’ night out, but came home early.
I let myself into her flat, hoping we could spend the night together, and found her in bed with this guy.
It was a nasty shock but, instead of being angry or upset, I realised I was excited.
She was deeply apologetic and begged me to forgive her, saying it was a mistake.
Weeks later, I confessed it had actually turned me on. I said if she wanted to see other men she could – as long as I could watch.
She was surprised but agreed, saying she wasn’t sure she was ready to be monogamous, but didn’t want to break up.
The first time she brought a guy home, she was nervous, but when she saw how turned on I was she soon let go and enjoyed herself.
Afterwards, we had the best sex of our relationship.
Since then, she’s brought several men back for sex.
However, I’ve started feeling anxious about what we’re doing. I don’t think it’s normal and I’m worried we’ll end up splitting.
I’m also concerned I might never be able to go back to a traditional relationship.
Should I be worried, or is it ok to have – and indulge – my cuckolding fetish?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: A cuckolding fetish is surprisingly common.
Many men tell me they fantasise about watching their partners have sex with other men, and some, like you, act out their fantasies.
My support pack, Fetish Worries, should help you understand more about why this turns you on so much.
There are, of course, risks involved, so you’re right to think carefully about what you’re doing.
Jealousy can be an issue, or insecurity. Safe sex is vital.
And if one of you wants to stop and the other doesn’t, this could be a problem.
So far, both you and your girlfriend are enjoying doing this. But perhaps you need to talk about your fears and discuss where to go from here.
It’s important to keep communicating and to respect each other’s boundaries.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
