My urge to wear women’s clothes in public has intensified since my dad died

DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my dad died, I’ve had a strong urge to wear women’s clothes in public.

I’ve been dressing up at home, but now would love to go out dressed as a woman.

Can you give me some advice? I’m a divorced 52-year-old man and I’ve always liked the idea of cross-dressing.

But aside from a few secret attempts as a young man, I never had the courage to do it.

I’ve suppressed my feelings for most of my life.

But after my father’s death at the age of 80, I suddenly felt the need really intensely.

Perhaps it’s because he would have disapproved, and I know my ex-wife would have also, so I finally feel free to do it.

I’ve been for a trying-on session and booked another.

Standing in the changing room in a dress and heels, I felt more like myself than ever.

I want to be able to do this in my daily life, but it is quite a scary thought.

A big part of me feels like I’m doing something wrong.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEAR DEIDRE

Should I confess to my long-term partner that I’ve slept with another woman?

DEIDRE’S STORIES

Louise is let down by Pete again but can’t seem to let go

DEIDRE SAYS: There is nothing wrong with expressing your need to cross-dress, and it’s not uncommon.

Often, it stems from a childhood experience.

Now that your father has gone, you don’t need to fear his disapproval.

But if he made you feel it was wrong, these guilty feelings will be hard to shake.

They are also mixed in with your grief, so it is no wonder you are confused.

Talking to a bereavement counsellor could help. See my support pack about Bereavement.

My other pack, Cross-Dressing Support explains more about why men do this, and will tell you where to go for more advice.