My girlfriend sold nudes to pay of our debts and I’m gutted

DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend posed for nude photos to pay off our debts, and now I can’t look at her the same way. 

She lied to me about how she got the money and I’m finding it impossible to get past this.

I’m 30 and she’s 28. We’ve been together for five years.

I always felt I was punching over my weight with her. She’s gorgeous, with an amazing figure, while I’m just a normal, average-looking bloke.

She gets lots of male attention wherever she goes. I’ve tried not to let it make me feel insecure or jealous.

Earlier this year, we got into a financial mess because our managing agent sent a huge bill for replacing the windows in our property, leaving us in debt. 

I couldn’t sleep for worry and was even contemplating going to a loan shark when my girlfriend suddenly told me she’d somehow found the cash. 

I was so relieved that I accepted her vague explanations. 

But last week, I was out with a mate when he said, ‘I was surprised you let your girlfriend pose for those pics. She looks great, but I’d have been dead jealous.’

I said he must have been mistaken, so he got out his phone and showed me a site where – to my horror – there were indeed naked pics of my girlfriend.

I laughed it off but was devastated. 

When I got home I asked my girlfriend why she did it. She said she’d done nothing wrong, and I’d been grateful for the money.

She said she’d told a ‘white lie’ because she knew how I’d react. 

Now I imagine other men masturbating over her and I feel sick. 

I feel jealous and insecure all the time and I can’t get over it. 

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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s understandable that you’re upset, especially as your girlfriend didn’t tell you these pictures had been taken.

You need to talk to her about how this has made you feel and ask, if possible, that she takes them down.

But ultimately, it’s her body to do with as she chooses. 

Only you can decide if you want to work through this and continue being together.

You’ll need an honest conversation, where you both set out your needs. Ask if she wants to do it again or was it simply to get you both out of debt? 

Perhaps you need to discuss boundaries for your relationship going forward, so you can rebuild trust. My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, should help.