JAMEELA Jamil has revealed she has tried to take her own life multiple times while struggling to cope with crippling insomnia.
The She-Hulk star, 39, has lifted the lid on her experience with the debilitating sleep disorder and said it sparks feelings of “despair” and “hopelessness”.
Jameela Jamil has lifted the lid on her battle with insomnia[/caption]
In a candid publication on Substack, Jameela admitted that “every suicide attempt” she’s made has been due to a severe lack of sleep.
Jameela, who has been in a relationship with Grammy winner James Blake since 2015, also said her insomnia affects her sex drive and makes her “fully lose a grip on reality”.
The actress, model and broadcaster wrote: “I would, without flinching, trade in all the success, money and adventures I’ve had to just be a good sleeper. Insomnia is the absolute ghetto of the mind, body and soul.
“It is years of the loneliest, darkest and most despairing hours in the middle of the night… It’s a lower sex drive. It’s nihilism and hopelessness. It’s being desperate for donuts all f***ing day because you need some respite and consolation.
“Every suicide attempt I have ever made was a result of just that few too many days in a row without a wink of sleep.”
Jameela continued: “You lose your mind. You fully lose your grip on reality.
“Hopelessness and bitterness takes hold of you and sinks into your marrow. Death feels undramatic, it just sounds like a nice big slumber. Your empathy reserves switch off.
“You don’t have the capability of thinking about how your actions will affect others. You convince yourself that it’s the only sensible option.
“Nothing has ever felt more rational or clear in the moment. It’s not sad. It’s not angry. It’s quiet and it feels like autonomy. It is a liar. It is a thief.
“This devastating act of chaos comes to you disguised as peace and tranquility. It’s terrifying. Insomnia is corrosive in every way.”
Jameela began her career fronting Channel 4‘s T4 from 2009 until 2012.
She later moved into radio and hosted The Official Chart and The Official Chart Update on BBC Radio 1 with DJ Scott Mills.
In 2020, the podcaster came out as queer after facing backlash for taking on a judging role on the TV show, Legendary.
Jameela now lives in Los Angeles in the US and is also an activist.
She describes herself as a ‘feminist-in-progress’ and uses her platform to advocate for disability rights, LGBTQ rights, body neutrality, and social justice.
Jameela is also outspoken about her health conditions, including anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and an eating disorder.
Four years ago, Jameela revealed she had taken valium from the age of 10 to help with her insomnia.
During an interview with Red Table Talk, she said: “After three decades, having started valium at the age of f***ing ten… I am finally clean off all sleeping pills.
“I didn’t take them every single night, but maybe four times a week – I would stay awake the other nights.
“In the past year and a half my short term memory has started to go, and I’ve learned that they can cause early onset dementia (I was calling it Jamentia) so I’ve finally thrown in the towel and flushed them down the loo.”
Jameela explained how she had given up caffeine, was not eating carbs after 2pm, had banned red meat from her diet and was walking 10k steps a day to try and improve her sleep instead.
Jameela found fame on T4 in 2009[/caption]
She has been in a relationship with musician James Blake since 2015[/caption]
Jameela is an activist for multiple causes[/caption]
