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The 7 signs your loved one is plagued by ‘smiling depression’ – one of the most dangerous mental illnesses

CHRISTMAS is meant to be the merriest time of the year.

But thanks to family rows, the stress of cooking the turkey, and the cost of buying presents, we can all end up feeling a bit burnt out by New Year’s Eve.

Signs and symptoms of smiling depression: fatigue, headaches, overeating, heaviness in arms and legs, extra sensitivity, sleeping longer, and withdrawal.

It’s even harder if you’re trying to slap on a smile for the sake of everyone else, which is what lots of people with ‘smiling depression’ will be doing this Christmas.

We all feel low sometimes, but around one in 10 people suffer from depression.

And it’s thought that up to 40 per cent of those could be suffering from ‘smiling depression‘.

The condition sees people pretending to be jolly and telling everyone they’re full of festive cheer, when actually on the inside, they’re really struggling with their mental health

What is ‘smiling depression’?

Smiling depression is not an official clinically diagnosable condition, but a term used when someone, whatever their gender or background, is struggling with depression yet masking this by smiling and giving the impression of being happy,” explains Anita Gohil-Thorp, a coach and mental health first aider. 

“With smiling depression, your loved one is aiming to give the impression that they’re fine. 

“They seem to have things in control, and, at work, they may be performing well.

“Deeper down inside, they are suffering. 

“They want to fit in and think that pretending to be happy helps keep what is really going on, hidden.”

This can all build up and lead to people feeling increasingly lonely, isolated and low – despite the smiles on their face. 

In severe cases, people can even have suicidal thoughts.

Olivia Remes, a PhD candidate at the University of Cambridge, told The Sun that the condition can actually put people at even greater risk of suicide – the biggest killer of Brits under the age of 35.

That’s why The Sun launched its You’re Not Alone campaign, to raise awareness of mental health and suicide, and to remind anyone struggling that there is help out there.

What are the signs of ‘smiling depression’?

“If your loved one is masking how they’re truly feeling with behaviours that we connect with happy people, smiling depression will not be easy to notice,” says Anita.

Here’s what to be alert to… 

1. Fatigue

Sad woman with low energy levels.

We’re all pretty tired at the end of the year, but do they seem more shattered than you’d expect?

“Keeping a smile on our face when we don’t feel like it uses up energy and resources,” says psychologist Toby Ingham.

Trouble sleeping, problems with concentration and difficulty remembering things, can kick in too. 

2. Headaches and tummy problems

Yes, your tummy pain could be too many mince pies or overdoing it on the Baileys, but it could also be smiling depression.

“There may be a coincidental increase in other psychosomatic type problems such as headaches or stomachaches,” says Toby. 

3. Overeating

We all tend to eat too much over Christmas.

But people with smiling depression may take it to excessive levels.

4. Sense of heaviness in the arms and legs

Is your loved one barely getting up off the sofa and just watching Christmas films back-to-back?

This could be another warning sign.

Illustration of a sad young woman sitting with her knees drawn up.

5. Extra sensitive to criticism or rejection

Family rows are part and parcel of Christmas.

But do they seem to be particularly affected by the fallout?

6. Sleeping longer than usual

Are you unable to get them up, even for presents or Buck’s Fizz?

Sleeping for longer than usual is another potential red flag.

7. Withdrawal, less interest in self-care or hobbies

Slowing focus and a reduced ability to fully function cognitively in typical day-to-day activities can also be warning signs, says Anita. 

Illustration of a young woman with a sad expression and a thought bubble showing tangled lines, representing depression.

What should you look out for specifically at Christmas?

Switch the telly on or walk down the high street and you’ll be inundated with images of super happy families having an amazing time together around the Christmas tree.

It’s lovely and festive, but this can make people with smiling depression feel even worse and under even more demand to appear merry at all times. 

“During the festive period and the weeks leading up to Christmas Day, there are often greater pressures to appear happy,” says Anita.

“It can be overwhelming for anyone, let alone someone already in a dark place.”

Your loved one might express little interest in the festivities or try to put you off committing to too much – while tonally they seem fine – and suggest it’s in your best interests.

“For example, they might say: ‘You always do so much for everyone, how about it’s just us this year?’” warns Anita.  

“While we may all get exhausted at this time of year, someone masking depression will feel even greater fatigue, mental stress and exacerbated ailments, such as headaches or body pains. 

“Pay attention, therefore, to behavioural signs or facial expressions of pain, even if your loved one is outwardly cheerful.”

What help is available?

At Christmas, it can be harder to get to speak with your GP and harder to get an appointment.

Nonetheless, it may be helpful to get one in the diary for after the holiday, that way you know you have a plan.

In the meantime, encourage your loved one to look after themselves, or if you’re struggling with smiling depression yourself, try to do more things you enjoy.

Take a bit of time to put yourself first.

Your loved one’s GP may suggest counselling or refer them for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – a treatment often used to treat depression by helping you reframe thoughts. 

Over the festive period, services like The Samaritans (call 116 123) and Mind, the mental health charity, as well as the Campaign Against Living Miserably, are still running and are on hand to help.

Anita adds: “You may notice they are over-compensating, for example, trying too hard in conversations, trying to be the life and soul of the party, which is out of character. 

“Changes in what you know to be their usual behaviour can be a sign that things are not as they seem on the surface.”

Toby says to look out for “someone putting a smile on their face even when things are not going so well” – which, from the turkey being undercooked to arguments over board games, is guaranteed to happen at some point. 

“Christmas is a complicated time involving all sorts of complicated agendas,” he adds.

“Try to keep track of how your mood, or that of someone close to you, is changing. 

“Are they starting to behave in ways that are not like them?”

A group of people sitting at a table, enjoying a meal together.
Getty
A smile can hide a thousand tears – or so goes the saying[/caption]

How can you support a loved one?

“If you notice your loved one’s starting to show signs that things don’t look as good as they are making out, see if you can find time to talk with them on their own and find out more about what’s going on,” says Toby.

“Tread carefully because they may not be as aware as you are that something is wrong.”

“Remember that the pressures of the festive period can lead a person with depression to experience their depressive thoughts and feelings more strongly,” adds Anita. 

“They may well have heightened feelings of hopelessness – it’s important to check in with them.” 

She recommends starting a conversation with them gently, without judgment, to help them open up.

“Ask an open question, with a compassionate tone, such as: ‘How are you finding things as we get closer to Christmas?’,” she says.

“Be mindful that your loved one likely does not want to be a burden and so may continue to mask how they feel.”

Anita adds: “If you are worried about your loved one, consider gently raising the topic of contacting their GP who will assess them. 

“This can, of course, be trickier during the festive period but, if it feels like an emergency, attend your local urgent care centre or A&E.”

Remember…

“It’s normal that we might go through times where we lose some of our confidence and energy,” says Toby.

“All kinds of events can trigger a change in mood, and Christmastime is often more pressured and full of memories and emotions than we realise.

“Remember, it’s normal to not like or want to go along with everything. 

“If you give yourself one gift this Christmas, make that the gift of not having to like and smile at everything.”

Two women, one with blonde hair and one with red hair, are sitting on a couch and laughing. The blonde woman is wearing a white shirt and the redhead is wearing a black shirt.
Getty
People can appear happy while suffering from depression internally[/caption]

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We make £1,000s serving pints onboard a BUS… punters don’t have a lot of room but they come back for more

A COUPLE who nearly risked bankruptcy on an investment saw their fortunes change and now run a pub inside a converted double decker bus.

James Hay, 40, and partner Charley Base, 39, always dreamt of running their own business together but had never found the right opportunity.

a man holding a glass of beer in front of a double decker bus that says ludo
Peter Jordan
James in front of the pub, Ludo’s[/caption]
a bar with a sign that says paloma on it
Peter Jordan
The lower deck of the bus was transformed into a bar[/caption]
the inside of a bus with tables and seats
Peter Jordan
The upper deck was turned into a large seating area[/caption]
a red double decker bus has a dog painted on the side
Peter Jordan
The rear of the bus features a mural of the couple’s dog[/caption]

The couple almost signed on a brick and mortar pub lease in early 2020 before “easing off the gas” due to the pandemic.

This decision, James reckons, likely saved them around £100,000 and from a potential bankruptcy.

Now, they run their pub Ludo’s from inside an old double decker bus.

James, originally from Portsmouth, couldn’t believe his luck when he found out the previous lease on the bus was ending.

It was being shared at the time by brewery Earth as a taproom as well as a board game café during the day.

However, after they moved out, it gave the perfect opportunity for James and Charley to move in and swoop up the desirable site.

Taking over the lease, the couple injected £20,000 into restoring the bus from its previous state.

That included a professional beer system installation, new fridges, and a general refresh to the bus interior.

The result is a cosy and warm environment that would make any pubgoer feel at home.

Charley, a comedy act booker, and James regularly run comedy nights on the top floor of the bus, as well as live music, and pub quizzes.

We went along to one music event and spoke to those attending, as well as one of the performers.

Fi, 25, described the concert as an “ethereal experience” atop the “beautiful” bus.

She said the uniqueness of sitting aboard a former bus to listen to musicians created a “culturally enriching” environment for the audience.

Sa-ad, 20, loved the “intimate” feel of the bus and jokingly remarked at how it’s the “nicest experience” you can have on a bus anywhere.

He added: “You have a lot of unique venues in London but this one tops them all.

“It’s such an intimate venue. There’s nowhere for the performer to go other than in the audience.

“You really form a better connection. It’s such an interesting venue combined with its care for its performers.

“It’s something gimmicky that cares.”

All of the guests we spoke to said they will definitely be back at the unique venue.

Porteous, 25, who performed at the show, said: “It was so wholesome.

“It’s so surreal to have something so silent. You’re literally face to face. It’s amazing, it’s really really beautiful.”

a man playing a guitar on a stage in a bus
Supplied
One of the acts performing on the bus[/caption]
a red double decker bus that says ludo 's bar venue
Peter Jordan
Seating is featured both inside and outside the venue[/caption]
a board game called ludo sits on top of a red double decker bus
Peter Jordan
The bus also contains a range of board games, including Ludo of course[/caption]

Converting the bus

When the couple inherited the Volvo bus, it had already had some of its interior altered in order to accommodate Earth’s tap room.

But James admitted it did need some “love” to bring it up to the standard for Ludo’s.

The pair set ahead and invested around £20,000 into new furnishings, beer equipment, and styling for the pub.

a red double decker bus is parked next to a picnic table
James Hay/Ludo's
The exterior of the bus before the conversion[/caption]
a red double decker bus with a sign that says bar cafe open
James Hay/Ludo's
The bus following its spruce up[/caption]
the inside of a bus with tables and seats
James Hay/Ludo's
The interior had been kept largely untouched when James and Charley inherited the vehicle[/caption]
a microphone is sitting in the middle of a bus
James Hay/Ludo's
The upstairs of the bus after renovation work[/caption]

The couple gave the motor a fresh lick of paint and adorned it with their own signs to give the bus its snazzy look.

But it was not just the outside of the bus that needed a new lease of life.

Inside, the team set to bring a warm and cosy feel to the 28-year-old bus.

This meant installing new lights and lamps, and smartening up the seating and tables.

The result is a bright and fashionable upstairs that plays host to comedians and live musicians throughout the week.

The lower deck of the bus also required a lot of work to build the venue’s bar.

a man and a dog on a bus with a sign that says olly 's
James Hay/Ludo's
The downstairs area of the pub during remodelling[/caption]
a dog standing in front of a new york sign
James Hay/Ludo's
The area after renovations[/caption]

The bare bones interior was showered with a new bar top, colourful furnishings, and a warm design to create the ultimate cosy pub feel.

James said the inspiration for the conversion came from his inadvertent first project from when the pair lived together on a canal boat.

They had transformed their former home in Manchester into a liveable space.

This first conversion gave them the itch to undertake an even bigger project, which ended up being Ludo’s.

Speaking about the cost of the bus conversion, despite its high initial price, James said the pair now enjoy a “healthy” cash flow from a mixture of patrons.

The entrepreneur added that he wanted to make a venue that straddles that middle crowd of those that feel they can’t go to cheap “older” style pubs but desire that homely, cosy, and affordable feel.

Ludo’s also pushes a major sustainability and independent front, stocking a selection of local beers as well as homemade cakes.

James believes it’s what puts Ludo’s a cut above a standard pub and hopes it will attract more environmentally conscious patrons.

On top of this, he wants Ludo’s to play its part in showcasing sustainable business.

the inside of a bus with stairs leading up to the second floor
Peter Jordan
The staircase inside the pub[/caption]
a man pouring beer from a tap that says craft
Peter Jordan
James pouring out one of the local pints on tap[/caption]
a row of beer taps with one that says craft on it
Peter Jordan
The range of local beers available[/caption]
a red double decker bus with the word ludo on the side
Peter Jordan
The bus is located on a regenerated yard which features additional shops[/caption]
a jar of pickled eggs sits next to a sign that says fancy a paloma
Peter Jordan
Ludo’s prides itself on providing homemade baked goods[/caption]
a dog laying in front of a bus that says beer on a bus
James Hay/Ludo's
The couple’s 4-year-old dog Mag features prominently on the rear of the bus[/caption]
a red double decker bus is parked in a parking lot
Supplied
Ludo’s during one of its gigs[/caption]

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Everyone can spot the bird – but you have eyes of hawk if you can spot the umbrella in this woodland scene in 9 seconds

YOU could have 20/20 vision and a high IQ if you can spot the hidden umbrella in under nine seconds.

Everyone can see the bird in this image but can you solve the optical illusion in time?

Three children in a rain forest.
Jagran josh
Players have just nine seconds to find the umbrella in this scene[/caption]

This cartoon image depicts three friends walking through a forest in the rain.

This trio have been caught out in the poor weather without a cover over their heads.

Despite this, there is an umbrella in the illusion but can you spot it in just a few seconds?

One adventurer looks happy, while another is confused, and the third looks like she is trying to find the umbrella in her bag.

This woodland scene also includes animals and plants.

These different features can make finding the much needed umbrella extra difficult.

Another factor that makes this illusion tricky is the bright colours across the image.

Optical illusions are a great way to test your mind and senses.

They can force people to look past clear and obvious images.

This process can help to stimulate several parts of the brain at the same time.

For example, in this brain teaser it might be easy to assume the umbrella is with this trio but players must look elsewhere.

Here is a clue if you are struggling to find it.

Look at the base of each tree as you might find the cover there.

Here is another tip for people who are running out of time.

How can optical illusions and brainteasers help me?

Engaging in activities like solving optical illusions and brainteasers can have many cognitive benefits as it can stimulate various brain regions.

Some benefits include:

  • Cognitive stimulation: Engaging in these activities challenges the brain, promoting mental agility and flexibility.
  • Problem-solving skills: Regular practice enhances analytical thinking and problem-solving abilities.
  • Memory improvement: These challenges often require memory recall and can contribute to better memory function.
  • Creativity: They encourage thinking outside the box, fostering creativity and innovative thought processes.
  • Focus and attention: Working on optical illusions and brainteasers requires concentration, contributing to improved focus.
  • Stress relief: The enjoyable nature of these puzzles can act as a form of relaxation and stress relief.

Focus on the right side of the photo and you could find the solution there.

If you were not able to solve the brain teaser in time do not worry as the answer is down below.

Why not try another difficult optical illusion to keep testing your brain?

You could have a high IQ if you can find the hidden object in under 30 seconds.

A dense forest of Christmas trees decorated with lights.
MrQ
You have 30 seconds to find the bauble in this image[/caption]

The challenge was created by the experts at MrQ and will test your eyes and pattern recognition.

All you need to do is spot the hidden bauble in this festive image.

The answer to this tricky illusion can be found down below.

Why not try another festive optical illusion and see if you can find the ace card at this party in seven seconds.

A Christmas party with people dancing around a decorated tree.  An ace of spades is hidden in the scene.
Online Solitaire
Can you spot the ace card hidden at this office Christmas party?[/caption]

The creators at Online Solitaire have brought the festive cheer with this Christmas party scene.

This festive party has a lot going on to distract players.

There are people dancing around a Christmas tree with Santa spinning a girl in circles.

If you haven’t found the hidden ace card among these partygoers scroll down for the answer when you are ready.

Hidden umbrella in a woodland scene.
jagran josh
The umbrella has been circled above[/caption]
Hidden object in a snowy Christmas tree forest.
MrQ
The bauble has been circled above[/caption]
Hidden ace of spades at a Christmas party.
Online Solitaire
How long did it take you to spot the hidden ace card?[/caption]

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Horse racing tips: This 18-1 pick can spring a shock in the Welsh Grand National

SUN Racing tackles Friday’s action confident of success.

Read on for the picks.

THE SUN RACING MEMBERS ENCLOSURE

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LONGSHOT

NO HUBS NO HOOBS (2.50 Chepstow)

He needed his comeback run at Wincanton last time and has loads of staying power for this punishing trip.

THIEF

SANS BRUIT (2.30 Kempton) 

He has been a solid third on his past two runs and Bryony Frost comes over for the ride. 

WEVEALLBEENCAUGHT (3.08 Kempton) 

He takes a big drop in class and has been given a chance by the handicapper.

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Commercial content notice: Taking one of the offers featured in this article may result in a payment to The Sun. You should be aware brands pay fees to appear in the highest placements on the page. 18+. T&Cs apply. gambleaware.org.


Remember to gamble responsibly

A responsible gambler is someone who:

  • Establishes time and monetary limits before playing
  • Only gambles with money they can afford to lose
  • Never chases their losses
  • Doesn’t gamble if they’re upset, angry or depressed
  • Gamcare – www.gamcare.org.uk
  • Gamble Aware – www.gambleaware.org

Find our detailed guide on responsible gambling practices here.

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