How soon is too soon to date after losing my husband?
DEAR DEIDRE: HOW soon is too soon to date after losing my husband?
The last thing I want to do is disrespect him, but I think I’m ready to put myself back out there.
I’m 61, my husband was 65, and we were married for 30 years before he died from cancer four months ago.
We had the most beautiful and loving marriage, and while I could never dream of replacing him, I don’t want to spend the rest of my days alone.
I’d spent the last six months of his life caring for him, and so I think a part of me grieved him before he even died.
Now, after months of readjusting to my new reality, I’m finding myself thinking about the prospect of dating again.
I feel so guilty even considering giving another man a chance, and I’m worried those closest to me will judge me for moving on so quickly.
When is the right time?
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DEIDRE SAYS: There’s no right or wrong time to start dating again after the death of a spouse, since everyone’s experience with grief is unique.
Only you will know when you’re ready to start moving on, so try not to worry about what everyone else will think.
Just remember to take things slowly and check how it feels for you at each stage.
It’s OK if you go on a date and change your mind.
My support pack Coping With Bereavement should help you navigate this time.
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Southampton 0 West Ham 1: Jarrod Bowen scores winner in controversial match after Guido Rodriguez red card is overturned
JARROD BOWEN dampened Southampton’s holiday cheer to settle a controversial match on the South Coast.
The England striker poked home the winner to spoil Ivan Juric’s bow as Saints manager.
Jarrod Bowen opened the scoring for the Hammers at St Marys[/caption] The England striker broke the deadlock after the break[/caption] The match was delayed for a lengthy injury to West Ham stopper Lukasz Fabianski[/caption]There were cheers from Southampton fans as keeper Aaron Ramsdale knocked the ball long in the early stages, indicating a change of approach to sacked boss Russell Martin.
But the Hammers were the more dangerous team, with Carlos Soler smashing the bar after 4 minutes.
West Ham were later forced into a change, with Lukasz Fabianski stretchered off after a horror collision.
The two teams toiled into the second half, where referee Lewis Smith downgraded a red card for West Ham’s Guido Rodriguez to a yellow after VAR’s intervention.
It would be Bowen who had the final say, poking in Niclas Fullkrug’s cross.
Saints pushed forward in search of an equaliser, but fell short as their Premier League goal drought extended past seven hours.
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My pregnant girlfriend is being evicted from her flat and has asked to move in with me
DEAR DEIDRE: MY pregnant girlfriend is being evicted from her flat and has asked if she can move in with me.
While I love her with all my heart, the idea of taking on her and another man’s baby full-time is a lot to bear, and I don’t know what to do.
I’m 32, she’s 29, and we’ve been together for five months.
We were friends for years before we finally confessed our feelings to each other.
She’d just been through a tough break-up with the father of her child, and as I supported her through it, we grew closer.
She’s now seven months pregnant, and her landlord has given her a two-month notice to move out.
She’s distraught, and the stress of trying to find somewhere new is getting her down.
She’s asked me if I would mind her staying in my flat for a few months until she finds something else.
The problem is, it’s tiny, and I have one bedroom.
The last thing I want is to be a bad boyfriend, but the idea of taking care of a newborn and having no space for myself feels overwhelming.
She knows it’s a big ask, and while she’s not putting any pressure on me, I feel so guilty thinking about saying no.
As her boyfriend, I should be there to support her, but I’m not sure I can take this on.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Looking after a newborn is no easy feat and can disturb every aspect of your life, so it’s understandable that you’re feeling reluctant about this.
While it’s clear you want to support your girlfriend, taking this step too soon, especially with the stress of a baby, could put your relationship under a lot of strain.
It would be best if you were honest with your girlfriend about your reluctance to move in together.
If she knows that it’s a big ask, I’m sure she’ll understand.
Instead, why not offer to help her find somewhere suitable.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
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I can’t stop berating my lovely partner – I find pleasure in humiliating him
DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though my partner is a lovely man, I can’t help myself from constantly berating him.
From doing all the cooking and cleaning to buying me lavish gifts, he goes out of his way to spoil me, but for some reason, I find pleasure in humiliating him.
I’m a 34-year-old man and my boyfriend is 29.
We’ve been together two years and recently moved in together.
It’s safe to say that he is the best partner that I could have asked for and he treats me like a king, but since we’ve been living together, he’s been grinding my gears.
Everything he does is starting to annoy me, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop myself from being mean.
Whether I’m being ungrateful or calling him names, he never stands up for himself, and it irritates me.
Even when it comes to housework, I purposely leave a mess just to spite him.
I know my behaviour is out of order, but is it really my fault if he takes it?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your behaviour is abusive and cruel.
It’s important you take the time to understand what hidden feelings you’re experiencing that are making you act this way.
You could be projecting due to hurt, inadequacy, or embarrassment.
In the meantime, if you can’t trust yourself not to say hurtful things, put some distance between you until you can.
My pack, Have You Been Abusive Or Violent? will help you to reflect on your behaviour.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
Coleen Rooney reunites with husband Wayne for sweet matching PJs pics with the kids after weeks away for I’m A Celebrity
COLEEN Rooney has had a picture perfect Christmas after her stint in the jungle a few weeks ago.
The Liverpudlian mum of four came second on I’m A Celebrity, narrowly losing out to McFly musician Danny Jones, and now she’s been enjoying a wholesome family Christmas.
Coleen posed alongside husband Wayne Rooney and their four boys for a matching Christmas snap[/caption] Coleen shared more family snaps as she wished fans a Merry Christmas[/caption]Coleen reunited with husband Wayne Rooney and their four kids in matching pjs for a sweet festive picture as they celebrated Christmas at home in Cheshire.
Coleen donned red, white and blue printed pyjamas as she beamed for a family photograph alongside Wayne and their sons Kai, 15, Klay, 11, Kit, 8, and Cass, 6.
Sharing the picture to Instagram, she added another family snap with the Rooney clan wearing matching plaid nightwear.
Another picture saw her pose with her four boys during a Christmas light event, and another saw her cosying up to two during a meal out.
Writing on Instagram, Coleen told fans: “Merry Christmas from mine to yours!! I hope it’s been full of love & laughter for you all.
“Remembering all the loved ones who can’t be with us. Lots of love.”
Fans have flooded the snap with Christmas wishes, as one commented: “The queen taking care of all her boys.
“I hope Wayne and them boys realize how amazing you are which I am pretty sure they will!. You and Wayne have made a unit of a family.”
Another shared: “Gorgeous family.”
The Christmas snap comes after Coleen spent weeks away from her family to take part in ITV’s I’m A Celebrity, which saw the WAG taking part in Bushtucker Trials and living in the jungle camp.
Whilst her mum and two of her sons met with her in the final days of the jungle, husband Wayne was unable to be in Australia to see her when she left due to working as a coach with Champions League football team Plymouth Argyle.
Yet the pair were eventually reunited and have been seen on dates together since Coleen landed back home, including to the Manchester Christmas market.
The family Christmas comes as 2025 could shape up to be a huge year for Coleen, as ITV are said to be desperate to snap up Coleen for a host of television shows after she reached the I’m A Celebrity final.
The channel has offered her a big-money deal, which includes a comeback series of Coleen’s Real Women.
It originally aired on ITV2 back in 2008 – with Coleen tasked with finding naturally beautiful women to be the face of eight major brands.
A source told The Sun: “ITV really want to sign Coleen up after the jungle and have offered her all kinds of shows including bringing back Coleen’s Real Women, which she loved making.
“They really want to snap her up before another big money deal tempts her away from ITV.”
Coleen – who finished second on I’m A Celebrity – is poised to become the next Holly Willoughby.
Another source told The Sun: “Coleen’s return to public life following the Wagatha Christie trial was carefully orchestrated — and it has more than paid off.
“When she was in the jungle, she was being touted as ITV’s next Holly Willoughby and the offers have already started flooding in.
“But there is one deal on the table that has really piqued her team’s interest.
“Given Coleen’s love of the Loose Women show too, the team want her secured on their guest roster, with a view to finding something more permanent for her.
“It isn’t just TV deals — lifestyle and nutritional brands have all been sending lucrative contracts her way, as well as high street retailers. They all want a piece of Coleen. The sky’s the limit.”
Coleen shares four sons with footballer husband Wayne Rooney[/caption] coleen and wayne rooney with kids wish everyone a happy christmas in matching pyjamas..https://www.instagram.com/p/DEA8IEJtMAy/?hl=en-gb&img_index=4..[/caption] Coleen Rooney came second on I’m A Celebrity, losing to McFly musician Danny Jones[/caption]