DEAR DEIDRE: I KEEP comparing myself to my boyfriend’s ex because she is the mother of their son.

I’d love a child with him too but he says it’s too soon.

He’s 28 and I’m 21. We’ve been dating for six months.

When we met, I loved his maturity and the fact he was a daddy.

I then looked for his ex on Instagram and I felt sick to my stomach when I saw pictures of them together, on the day of their son’s birth, his first birthday and lots of pictures of them on nights out.

They looked like a proper family and that hurts me.

My boyfriend says that they split up because he didn’t love her any more but they look so together in the pictures.

I wish I was her.

Deidre says: You’re completely smitten with this man but it’s important to accept and to be able to separate the pasts of our partners.

You say you want to be this woman but they aren’t together – you are.

Focus on building something good and strong and you’ll be able to create something amazing that is yours, and yours alone. 

Rushing into starting your own family to compete with his ex would be a mistake. You have your whole lives ahead of you.

His relationship with his ex is over but she will always be in his life because of their son so think seriously about whether this is right for you.

My support pack called Dealing With Jealousy will help.

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