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Fury as woke council tells staff to avoid the words ‘confident’, ‘driven’ and ‘honest’ in job adverts

A WOKE council wants staff to avoid the words “confident”, “driven” and “honest” in job adverts.

Its barmy bosses class the terms as “gender-coded”.

North Devon Council recruitment training slides seen by The Sun have examples of 52 “masculine-coded words” and 50 “feminine-coded” words.

Other masculine terms to avoid include intellect, lead, principle and ambition.

Feminine terms frowned upon include kind, loyal and polite.

Employers are also urged to not use terms like “years of experience” or “native English speaker” as qualifications.

The guide adds: “Avoid other gender-coded language in your job postings.

“The net result could be that you alienate otherwise qualified candidates and they decide not to apply.”

But a source said: “A lot of these words describe what most ­people think would be the ideal candidate for any job.

“You’d think councils would want workers to be honest and driven. I guess not.”

Free Speech Union boss Toby Young added: “What this is basically saying is if you identify as a man or a woman, you need not apply.”

North Devon Council declined to comment.

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Job candidate handing paperwork to interviewer.
Getty
North Devon Council wants staff to avoid the words ‘confident’, driven’ and ‘honest’ in job adverts[/caption]

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Maura Higgins flashes her sexy knickers in sizzling new shoot after glam night out in London

MAURA Higgins flashed her sexy knickers in a sizzling new shoot after hitting London for a glam night out.

Love Island star Maura, 34, looked sensational as she posed in a pink Alo hoodie and matching socks, playfully lounging on a cream sofa.

Woman in pink hoodie and white lingerie.
@alo
Maura Higgins flashed her sexy knickers in a sizzling new shoot[/caption]

Adding a vintage touch, she accessorised with a retro camera while showcasing the brand in a series of Instagram snaps.

Sharing the shots with her followers, Maura captioned the post: “Sundays. @alo Ad.”

The star’s fans went wild in the comments section, with one gushing: “Omg neeeed this!!!!!!”

Another added: “So pretty in pink,” with a third saying: “Absolutely stunning.”

Maura’s comfy day in came after she joined some pals for a night out in Mayfair, where she wore a rather daring outfit.

The I’m A Celeb babe came dangerously close to a wardrobe malfunction as she showed off her killer tanned legs in a pair of teeny red leather shorts.

Stepping out of the hotel, Maura went braless as she wore a matching long-sleeve top to complete the look.

The influencer kept her hair slicked straight with tiny flicks at the end.

However, she became aware quickly that she may have gone a little too risky, laughing as she covered up her modesty with her hands and a giant clutch.

The star then had to fight against the elements as she led the group of girls to Cipriani restaurant, before they headed off to cocktail bar Dover Yard and then Mistress of Mayfair.

Maura was seen crossing the street as she guided her friends through London for the evening, but keeping a tight grip on her purse which she held close to her tummy.

The night out was in honour of celebrating her friend Leah Taylor’s birthday, with the stunning group making sure it was a night to remember.

Unlock even more award-winning articles as The Sun launches brand new membership programme – Sun Club.

Woman in pink hoodie and underwear sitting on a fluffy chair.
@alo
Maura looked sensational as she posed in a pink Alo hoodie and matching socks[/caption]
Woman in pink hoodie holding camera.
@alo
The Love Island star accessorised with a retro camera[/caption]

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Prince Andrew’s ex Koo Stark sues Stars Wars for huge sum after cut scenes appear online

Collage of Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker, and Prince Andrew with a woman.

PRINCE Andrew’s ex Koo Stark is suing Star Wars producers for £190million.

The US actress, 68, who dated the Duke of York in the 1980s, played Luke Skywalker’s pal Camie Marstrap for the 1977 movie A New Hope — but her scenes were cut.

Deleted scene from Star Wars: A New Hope featuring Luke Skywalker, Camie, Fixer, and Biggs Darklighter.
Koo Stark played Luke Skywalker’s pal Camie Marstrap for the 1977 movie A New Hope
Lucasfilm/YouTube
Prince Andrew and Koo Stark at a champagne reception.
Koo dated the Duke of York in the 1980s
Rex Features
Koo Stark arriving at Isleworth Crown Court.
AFP - Getty
Stark is now suing Star Wars producers for £190million[/caption]

They have since been made available online and on DVD and her character was revived in Disney’s 2021 Book of Boba Fett spin-off TV show, but with a different actress.

Now litigation filed in an LA court claims Star Wars creator George Lucas’ production company and others profited off Ms Stark’s likeness when it revived the character.

The legal action was brought by British actor Anthony Forrest, 73, who played her boyfriend Fixer — also cut from the 1977 film and played by another actor in 2021.

Court documents say that Stark and Forrest’s intellectual property rights were exploited when cut scenes were released on DVD.

Their characters appeared on trading cards, in books, as action figures and in promotional material for The Book of Boba Fett.

Forrest, of Hastings, East Sussex, also played the Stormtrooper who delivered the line: “These aren’t the droids we’re looking for” in 1977, and claims he was never compensated.

He is also claiming £190million.

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How King Charles and Queen Camilla will spend their 20th wedding anniversary revealed as he continues cancer treatment

THE King and Queen are set to spend their 20th wedding anniversary with an action-packed day of official work engagements in Italy, The Sun can reveal.

Charles, 76, and Camilla, 77, will forgo any idea of a romantic break as they are expected to be on a State Visit to Rome – often dubbed “The Eternal City”.

King Charles and Queen Camilla walking and waving after a church service.
King Charles and Queen Camilla were seen on a walk in Sandringham on Sunday ahead of their 20th wedding anniversary
Bav Media
King Charles and Queen Camilla walking at Sandringham.
The couple are expected to forgo any anniversary celebrations due to an action-packed day of official work engagements in Italy
Bav Media
Prince Charles and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, leaving a wedding ceremony.
PA
The royal couple back on their wedding day in 2005[/caption]

The royal couple married at Windsor Guildhall on April 9, 2005 and held their reception at Windsor Castle.

Two decades on and the royal pair are still going strong but any loving celebrations are set to be put on hold this year.

Instead, they have lined up a string of engagements supporting issues close to their hearts while on an official State Visit – as the King continues his cancer treatment.

Full details on the State Visit to Italy have yet to be revealed but they are expected to visit Rome and have an audience with Pope Francis at Vatican City.

It comes after sources close to the King said following the successful trip to Australia and Samoa last year they will now resume a full programme of tours in 2025.

Charles, despite his cancer woes, is regarded as one of the hardest-working royals on the beat and can pack in up to eight engagements on a single day while on tour.

A source said the King and Queen would not let their milestone anniversary date get in the way of the tour planning.

And the packed itinerary means they will have no time to fit in a special event marking their china, or porcelain, anniversary.

They added: “It is expected that they will mark it privately, if at all.”

Another source said: “The trip falls on their 20th wedding anniversary but the King and Queen are well known and respected for their hard work and duty.

“I don’t think anyone would expect them to do anything else than carry out a full list of engagements.”

The King has been to Italy around 19 times including trips to Vatican City with Camilla meeting Pope Benedict XVI in 2009 and seeing Pope Francis in 2017.

Charles and Camilla, both divorcees, married at Windsor Guildhall rather than a church in 2005.

Their big day had to be delayed a week after the death of Pope John Paul II.

The royal couple spent their 19th wedding anniversary at their Balmoral retreat in the Scottish Highlands.

Three years earlier on their 16th anniversary, Charles’s father Prince Philip sadly passed away.

Italy will be the King and Queen’s third joint trip to a European neighbour since the crowning.

Their tours of France and Germany last year were hailed as diplomatic and trade successes.

After the trip to Berlin and Hamburg a government official said the visit formed a “rebooting” of relations and the State Visit smoothed talks on “foreign policy, trade, defence and cultural issues”.

The second foreign tour of 2025 has yet to be agreed.

Buckingham Palace had earmarked a trip for Charles and Camilla during the autumn of 2022 but had to cancel following the death of Queen Elizabeth II.

The Indian subcontinent, including Pakistan, Bangladesh and India, had been rumoured.

But Canada, which is a realm where the King is Head of State, has been ruled out for the royal couple in 2025 because it’s an election year.

King Charles III at a Sunday service.
Reuters
Charles, despite his cancer woes, is regarded as one of the hardest-working royals[/caption]
King Charles waving at Sandringham.
Bav Media
The State Visit comes as the King is continuing his cancer treatment[/caption]
King Charles III and Queen Camilla at Buckingham Palace.
Getty
Sources say the King and Queen will now resume a full programme of tours in 2025[/caption]

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Murderer records hit drill rap song behind bars and earns £100s after posting video on YouTube

A DRILL rapper was able to record a track while in jail for murder — then have it posted on YouTube just hours after being sentenced.

Kammar Henry-Richards — handed a 37-year minimum tariff — used his police mugshot in a video.

Four gang members on a city street, one in focus pointing towards the camera.
Instagram
Kammar Henry-Richards was able to record a track while in jail for murder — then have it posted on YouTube just hours after being sentenced[/caption]
Screenshot of Kay-O's "C'est La Vie" playing on a music app.
The drill rapper used his police mugshot in the video
Kacey Boothe, murder suspect.
Central News
Kacey Boothe was killed outside a party in 2022[/caption]

He led a gang of four who shot dead gang rival Kacey Boothe at a baby’s birthday party in 2022 in East London.

They were all sentenced on the morning of January 14.

The song, titled C’est La Vie and boasting of making money from music in jail, was posted at 7.30pm that evening.

Under his drill tag Kay-O, the track racked up more than 450,000 plays on YouTube and Spotify.

And it ranked 16th on YouTube’s list of “trending” songs, earning him hundreds.

The killer is believed to have rapped into an illicit mobile while on remand at HMP Belmarsh after he was charged with murder.

Pals with access to his YouTube account are thought to have uploaded it.

His lyrics also reference smuggling items into jail and even the length of his prison term — suggesting some parts may have been recorded immediately after sentencing.

Last night, YouTube took down the track and gave Henry-Richards a lifetime ban after The Sun contacted the streaming giant.

However, the song was still on Spotify.

The Prison Service has launched an investigation.

Our revelations come days after 16-year-old Jimmy Mizzen’s killer Jake Fahri was recalled to jail after boasting about his crimes in drill raps.

Jimmy’s mum Margaret said: “Platforms that allow this type of music, especially from a convicted murderer, have serious questions to answer.”

A Ministry of Justice spokesperson said: “We are investigating this recording and have requested its removal.

“There is currently no evidence to suggest it was uploaded from jail, but any prisoner found breaking the rules will be punished.”

Exterior view of Belmarsh high security prison in London.
Getty
The killer is believed to have rapped into an illicit mobile while on remand at HMP Belmarsh after he was charged with murder[/caption]

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I jumped in front of lorry after blowing savings at casino – now it’s a joy to be alive, says Clarke Carlisle

AFTER being released from his club ten years ago, former footballer Clarke Carlisle lost a £100,000-a-year TV job and blew much of his life savings in one trip to a casino.

The same night as that loss, the ex-Premier League star, who was battling depression, went missing before jumping in front of a truck in an attempt to end his life.

Portrait of Mike Ridley and his wife.
Richard Walker
Ex-Premier League star Clarke Carlisle and wife Carrie[/caption]
Former football player Clarke Carlisle discussing his suicide attempt.
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Clarke went missing in 2015 before jumping in front of a truck in an attempt to end his life[/caption]
Clarke Carlisle, Burnley football player, number 5.
PA:Empics Sport
Clarke in action for football club Burnley[/caption]

But today, the 45-year-old speaks of the joy of being alive — and explains that instead of turning to gambling in his dark days, he now seeks solace . . . by hiding behind the fridge.

Clarke and his wife Carrie work to help others facing suicidal thoughts, holding online talks and courses for people dealing with mental health issues.

The defender, whose clubs included Blackpool, Burnley and QPR, said: “I have been to the edge of existence.

“Now I can proudly say I’ve not had an episode of depression for years. I’ve not needed meds for three years. I am the most well I’ve ever been.”

Carrie added of one of his new coping mechanisms: “He literally goes and hides behind the fridge. He goes there and takes a little moment.

“I won’t even know he’s there, and I’ll open the fridge and the fridge light will go on and I’ll see the ears from his Batman onesie.”

Clarke, who has two children with Carrie and three from previous relationships, added: “I know when I start coming down and I need to withdraw. I would stand in the dark, on my own and in my own thoughts.

“So I would stand there when I needed to with-draw. The key part of it, it is also where the radiator is. When I do experience depression, I physically get cold. It’s about finding the way for you to deal with things.”

Clarke, who was chairman of the Professional Footballers’ Association and has also appeared as a contestant on TV game show Countdown, said: “I was a perfectionist as a footballer, critical of things that I would do.

“I was in an environment where it is about wins and losses. I tried to replicate that in normal life and in my relationships. My self-worth was governed by results and performances on this pitch.

“So if we won, I felt great. I was a good human and then that would give me positivity going into all my wider interactions, because in my head, that makes me a good dad, a good husband, a good son.

“If we lost, that meant I was a terrible human because other people were sad and I’d let them down, which made me a bad dad, a bad husband, a bad brother.

“Now I prioritise the things that matter. I meditate a lot, I pray, I prioritise family. I make sure I put the kids to bed at least once a week.

“I make sure that they can come into my bedroom and jump on me in the morning. And Carrie and I make sure we have monthly date nights.”

With the annual mental health awareness Time To Talk Day next Thursday, Clarke said he still finds exercise triggers pressures he felt in his playing days and gets PTSD around the anniversary of his suicide bid.

He is now calling for an independent body to oversee the mental health of all footballers in the UK.

‘Terrible human’

Ex-TV presenter Carrie, a former alcoholic, said starting the process of writing a series of self-help material, such as Shut Up, Alcohol, played a part in helping Clarke get better.

Clarke was released by Burnley in 2012 and in 2014 lost his £100,000-a- year ITV Champions League pundit role before that fateful trip to the casino. He then went missing before throwing himself in front of a lorry on the A64 Leeds to York dual carriageway.

Clarke was airlifted to Leeds General Infirmary. He suffered cuts, bruises, internal bleeding, a broken rib and a shattered left knee.

On Christmas Day 2014, he was admitted as an in-patient to a psychiatric unit in Harrogate and placed on suicide watch.

He remained there until he was discharged in February 2015, when, shortly after, he did an interview with The Sun.

Ten years on, Clarke said: “After that, I knew I was very unwell. In the lead-up to that, I was being very negative, hypercritical, insular.

“I’d never done anything about my depression, and I was clinically depressed.

Bride and groom cutting a wedding cake.
Supplied
Clarke and Carrie getting married in 2016[/caption]
Clarke Carlisle of Queens Park Rangers revealing a Superman-themed undershirt.
Getty
Clarke revealing superman-style vest in game for QPR in 2002[/caption]

“I didn’t take medication for a myriad of reasons but predominantly because I thought, ‘I’m a man and a Premier League footballer’. I didn’t understand that my thoughts were different or dangerous.

“A lot of it was tied into self-worth. I do have an analytical mind. I was using alcohol so that my brain stopped thinking. I was using gambling so that my brain was thinking about something else.

“I’m really blessed I never got into drugs. If I had I would be dead now.

“Football was pretty much the only thing I thought gave me value. So when I left, I was totally bereft of anything that anyone else valued about me.

“I brought my football home, the perfectionism, the autistic portion, compulsive aspect, the need for everything to happen at this time, at this pace, immediate success or failure. There’s no middle ground.

I knew then he was an amazing, handsome man. And I know that even more to this day

Carrie

“And it’s a dynamic that is ingrained within you, and everything falls into these two categories.

“For the first year of my therapy, I had to discover this middle ground of things just being OK, being good enough.

“Because in football that had never been good enough, because it’s not the best, it’s not perfect. This transferred into relationships. It was so, so destructive. It was dangerous.”

In 2016, Clarke met Carrie, who worked as an ambassador at football anti-racism charity Kick It Out.

She said: “It was a whirlwind romance. We gave each other our business cards and I don’t think we ever thought we’d see each other again.

‘Dead by tomorrow’

“But he emailed and we went for dinner. Within five minutes of sitting down for dinner, he was like, ‘We are gonna get married, have babies’. On the second date he brought his psychiatric papers.

“We moved in together three weeks later. Then we got engaged a few months later. And then nine weeks after, we got married.

“I knew then he was an amazing, handsome man. And I know that even more to this day. I’m obsessed with him.”

The pair worked with each other to support their needs, Carrie with her anxiety and Clarke with his depression.

But in 2017, Clarke went missing again and was eventually found in Liverpool before being taken to a psychiatric facility in Blackburn.

Carrie said: “When Clarke was found, I wanted to bring him home. I was six months pregnant and I was like, ‘Let’s just go back to this place’, because up to 24 hours ago, I didn’t know anything was wrong.

“Luckily, someone took me aside and said, ‘OK, Mrs Carlisle, if you take him home, he’ll be dead by tomorrow’. And that was a slap in the face that I needed.”

Clarke then began counselling. He said: “I started to dig deeper and realised I needed to be well.

Clarke Carlisle on the set of Countdown.
Channel 4
Clarke on TV’s Countdown in 2010[/caption]

“I needed to be alive. I wanted to be here.”

Carrie asked him to read through some thoughts she had around her Shut Up, Alcohol method, which she developed in 2006.

Clarke said: “The incredible thing about my awesome wife is that she’s been able to put that into a clear and really quite simple process of self-progression and self-accountability, and it brings the power back when you’re talking about your mental health.

“You’re not waiting on the NHS to come and fix you.

“She asked me to read something she was writing about other issues and it helped me with my attitude to gambling.”

Using her Shut Up method, Carrie has written more than 20 books, as well as devising courses to accompany each one.

The pair offer online talks and courses for issues such as alcohol, gambling and suicidal thoughts.

Carrie said: “Most people don’t want to die.

“They just can’t live like this any more. We aim to guide them on their own journey out of it.

“We both see it as a great opportunity to pay our own lived experiences forward.”

I do miss certain moments of football

Clarke Carlisle

Clarke, who now has a degree in psychology, says he is in the best shape mentally he has been for years. He is “finally able” to enjoy watching football again.

But he said: “I can’t go and do a simple run without thinking, ‘Oh, you’re only cheating yourself. You can go faster than this’, or ‘You should have been in the Olympics next year’.”

“But I do miss certain moments of football — the first day of the season, a magnificent end of the season, a successful season.”

Last week, ex-Premier League referee David Coote said he would be prioritising his mental health after a series of scandals led to him being stripped of his job.

And Clarke now wants an independent advisory board for players and referees to help them deal with mental health.

He said: “It would great to see a new independent body. They need to stop acting in silos, whether it’s the individual organisations — EFL, Premier League, the WSL, the Championship, the PFA, the FA.

“They’re all individual things and giving cursory nods to each other’s activities.

“But there is no continuation of care. We need an external third party, an advisory board.

“But everyone, even if you are not in football, should be aware that there is help out there.

“I have a professional coach. I have the people who I trust. I prioritise the things that make me feel good and keep me well, irrespective of what’s going on.

“I am proof that you find a path. You just need to talk to the right people.”

  •  Find out more about Clarke and Carrie’s work at clarkeandcarrie.com.
  • Unlock even more award-winning articles as The Sun launches brand new membership programme – Sun Club.

Help for mental health

If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support.

The following are free to contact and confidential:

Mind, www.mind.org, provide information about types of mental health problems and where to get help for them. Email info@mind.org.uk or call the infoline on 0300 123 3393 (UK landline calls are charged at local rates, and charges from mobile phones will vary).

YoungMinds run a free, confidential parents helpline on 0808 802 5544 for parents or carers worried about how a child or young person is feeling or behaving. The website has a chat option too.

Rethink Mental Illness, www.rethink.org, gives advice and information service offers practical advice on a wide range of topics such as The Mental Health Act, social care, welfare benefits, and carers rights. Use its website or call 0300 5000 927 (calls are charged at your local rate).

Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk, is the a mental health initiative spearheaded by The Royal Foundation of The Prince and Princess of Wales.

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From hormones to stress, 11 reasons why your sex life is rubbish – and how to get it raunchy and rampant again

WHEN midlife hits, many of us find ourselves juggling more responsibilities than a circus clown.

Between managing careers, families and never-ending to-do lists, it’s no wonder that once fiery bedroom antics can start to feel as sleepy as Sunday afternoon TV.

A mature couple lying in bed, the woman looking upset and the man asleep.
Getty
Almost a third of midlife couples describe their sex life as ‘dissatisfying’[/caption]
Portrait of Emma Kenny.
supplied
Emma Kenny reveals how you can spice your sex life back up[/caption]

Almost a third of midlife couples — 29 per cent — in long-term relationships describe their sex life as “dissatisfying”, while 65 per cent of those in their 50s have sex once a week or less.

But don’t fret — if you’re feeling like a spare part in the romance department, you are certainly not alone.

I’ve worked with countless couples facing a midlife lull in their sex lives, and trust me, a slowdown doesn’t have to be the new normal.

With just a little insight, honesty and some actionable steps, you and your partner can reignite the spark that once had you both swinging from the chandeliers.

1. THE ‘WE’RE TOO TIRED TO TANGO’ TRAP

I CAN’T tell you how often I hear couples complain that they’re simply too exhausted to have sex.

Long days at work, hectic family schedules and general pressures of life can leave you feeling you’ve run a marathon before getting to bed.

Up to 33 per cent of couples say they are “too tired” for sex, which rises to 40 per cent for those whose kids still live at home.

When your batteries are drained, even the thought of intimacy can feel like just one more chore.

I always advise couples to think of sex as an energy-giving activity rather than another drain on their resources.

Start by prioritising rest and relaxation, and set a bedtime that gives enough downtime to decompress.

If that means switching off the TV or scheduling intimate time at a different time of day — mornings, anyone? — go for it.

Remember, fatigue kills libido.

Investing in quality rest can give you the spark you need to embrace each other more passionately.

2. THE ‘DID I MARRY MY HOUSEMATE’ DILEMMA

IT’S easy for couples to slip into a comfortable routine, especially by midlife.

You run the household together, share the bills, parent the kids and become each other’s best friend.

While that closeness is lovely, it can also blur the lines between lover and flatmate — which is sadly how 23 per cent of midlife couples would describe their partner.

If you have fallen into a routine that’s more about whose turn it is to take out the bins than it is about connecting romantically, don’t be surprised if sex slips off the radar.

Make a conscious effort to date each other again.

Plan nights out that involve doing something new or nostalgic, like revisiting your first date spot.

Dress up, flirt shamelessly and remind yourselves that you’re not just partners in crime, you’re lovers.

Shaking up the routine with an occasional spontaneous weekend away can also do wonders for reconnecting romantically.

3. THE OFFICE CRUSH CONUNDRUM

WHETHER it’s your partner’s new colleague who is always impeccably dressed or your own charming gym instructor, it’s not uncommon for eyes — and sometimes minds — to wander.

Midlife can bring a craving for novelty, and that can result in fleeting crushes or emotional connections outside of your relationship.

In fact, one in five of those in long-term relationships confess they have developed a crush on someone who isn’t their partner.

While a crush might seem harmless, it can plant seeds of doubt or a distance that derails your sex life.

Firstly, recognise that a crush often points to something lacking in your current dynamic — maybe it’s excitement, attention or just a spark.

Acknowledge those feelings rather than shaming yourself or your partner.

Openly discuss what might be missing in your relationship and work on injecting that missing piece.

Turning towards your partner and reigniting your connection can often dissolve the allure of someone else.

4. THE COMFORT ZONE COMA

Couple embracing in a kitchen, woman holding a glass of wine.
Getty
It can be very easy to slip into sexual autopilot[/caption]

AFTER years of knowing each other’s bodies and moves inside and out, it is easy to slip into sexual autopilot.

If intimacy has become predictable — same position, same time, same outcome — your brain might switch off simply because it’s all so familiar.

You know you love each other, but your body craves stimulation and variety.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to book a skydiving session to spice things up (unless that’s your thing!).

Start small — try a new location in the house, experiment with different lighting or music, and be open to toys or role-play if you’re both comfortable.

Communicate your fantasies and listen to your partner’s.

Often the sheer act of discussing new ideas can rekindle that sense of adventure.

5. THE TECHNOLOGY TURNOFF

WE’VE all been there — you plan an early night of romance, only to find yourself in bed scrolling through social media, playing a game on your phone or firing off a late-night work email.

Technology has this uncanny ability to worm its way into every moment of our lives, and it’s not exactly an aphrodisiac.

In a survey, one in five admitted that their bedtime screen habits reduced the frequency of sex with their partner.

Make your bedroom a tech-free zone.

Charge your phones in another room, resist the urge to watch TV in bed and use reading or gentle conversation as a wind-down.

Creating a more mindful, intimate space without the glow of screens makes it easier for you both to focus on each other.

Trust me, your sex life will thank you for it.

6. THE BOREDOM BLUES

Happy couple holding hands and walking in an autumn forest.
Getty
Boredom can stem from feeling unfulfilled[/caption]

CONTRARY to popular belief, boredom isn’t just about lacking new sexual positions or the same old routine, it can also stem from feeling unfulfilled or stagnant in life.

Maybe work isn’t as stimulating, or the empty nest phase has left you wondering what’s next.

Boredom in life often creeps into the bedroom, reducing libido and sexual excitement.

Get curious about what really energises you as individuals and as a couple.

Sign up for that pottery class, plan a hiking trip or take on a new fitness challenge together.

The more you add fresh experiences to your daily lives, the more you’ll feel that buzz of excitement that naturally translates into your sexual dynamic.

Rediscovering the joy of newness can be a real game-changer.

7. THE STRESS SIZZLER

A group of young adults in a yoga class sitting cross-legged in lotus position.
Getty
Stress is a mood killer[/caption]

MIDLIFE can come with a unique set of stressors — worries about ageing parents, financial pressures, or even reevaluating your career path.

High stress triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response, which is the worst mood-killer.

When your mind is racing with a million responsibilities, desire can rapidly fade into the background.

Start by prioritising stress management techniques such as regular exercise, mindful breathing or even therapy sessions if stress is becoming overwhelming.

Create a calming bedtime routine that helps you and your partner wind down.

This could include sharing a short meditation, giving each other a gentle back rub or even listening to a soothing playlist.

When stress is under control, desire often comes roaring back.

8. THE HORMONAL HAVOC

LET’S talk biology for a moment.

Both men and women experience hormonal shifts in midlife that can disrupt libido and sexual functioning.

Women entering perimenopause or menopause can face hot flushes, mood swings and vaginal dryness.

Men can experience lowered testosterone, which can impact sexual desire and performance.

Your body might feel like a stranger, and that can throw a big spanner in the intimacy works.

I always recommend speaking to a healthcare professional if you suspect hormones are at play.

Sometimes, simple solutions such as lubricants, or hormone replacement therapy, can make a huge difference.

And don’t underestimate the power of lifestyle changes.

A nutritious diet, regular exercise and reducing alcohol can all support healthier hormone levels.

Remember, knowledge is power, so get informed and take steps to support your changing body.

9. THE BODY CONFIDENCE BLIP

IF you’re not feeling great about your body, you’re less likely to want to show it off in the bedroom.

Midlife often presents us with new sags, wrinkles or softness in places that were once firm.

It’s natural to compare yourself now to your younger self, and this can chip away at confidence.

Nearly half — 47 per cent — of midlife women say concerns about their appearance make it less likely that they would initiate sex.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, shift your attention to what your body can do.

You might take up a new physical hobby, such as dancing, yoga or swimming, which helps you appreciate your body’s abilities.

Remind yourself that confidence is sexy, and your partner likely admires you more than you realise.

Celebrate each other’s bodies by sharing compliments.

And consider sensual, not necessarily sexual, touch such as massages or cuddling to build intimacy.

10. THE SILENT TREATMENT SYNDROME

ONE of the commonest blocks to a healthy sex life is when communication is lacking.

Maybe you have never been comfortable discussing what you like in bed, or perhaps lingering resentments have built up over time and gone unaddressed.

Silence creates a breeding ground for misunderstandings, resentments and unmet needs.

I encourage couples to be brave and start the conversation, even if it feels awkward at first.

Choose a relaxed, neutral space, perhaps during a leisurely walk or over a glass of wine, and share your feelings honestly but kindly.

Focus on using “I” statements: “I feel disconnected” or “I miss our closeness”.

Encourage your partner to do the same.

When you remove the guesswork and talk openly, you can tackle issues long before they fester and overshadow your desire for each other.

11. THE PASSION OVERLOAD MYTH

THERE’S a common misconception that if your sex life isn’t blazing hot all the time, something is fundamentally wrong.

Many midlife couples measure their sex life against the intensity of their early years or what they see in films and social media.

This unrealistic expectation can set you up for disappointment, frustration and a vicious cycle of feeling like failures in the bedroom.

Remember, sex is about quality, not quantity.

Shift your perspective from chasing fireworks to nurturing deeper, more meaningful intimacy.

Accept that your connection might evolve over the years, and that’s perfectly normal.

Focusing on closeness, emotional intimacy and mutual satisfaction can be more fulfilling than any idealised Hollywood version of lust.

Let go of the pressure to perform and embrace the emotional and physical bond you share.

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‘The thought crosses my mind often…’ – Former world No1 and two-time Grand Slam champion considering shock RETIREMENT

FORMER Wimbledon champion Simona Halep revealed “the thought of retiring crosses my mind very often” as she seriously considers hanging up her racquet.

Halep, 33, beat Serena Williams to reign supreme on the grass of the All England Club in 2019 – the year after winning her maiden Grand Slam at the French Open.

Simona Halep holding the Wimbledon trophy.
AP
Wimbledon 2019 champ Simona Halep is preparing to retire from tennis aged 33[/caption]

The ex-world No1 racked up 24 career titles and more than £32million in career prize money.

But her career has spiralled downwards rapidly in recent years due to injuries and a drugs ban.

The Romanian appeared to be handed a lifeline going into the 2025 season with a wildcard into the Australian Open.

But she had to withdraw before the tournament started due to knee and shoulder problems.

And it is the former that is giving her thoughts about packing in her pro tennis career for good.

Halep, now way down at No868 in the world rankings, told Golazo: “The knee injury I have is quite serious and difficult to recover from.

“I don’t know if I’m afraid to push myself, but when I feel pain, it’s hard to play at my highest level.

“It’s very difficult to get back to where I was, especially after such a long break.

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“The thought of retiring crosses my mind very often. I’ve reached an age where I have injuries that are hard to recover from.

“My knee won’t heal completely – I was advised to undergo surgery, but it’s a complicated procedure, and I don’t think I will go through with it.”

Halep made her name in 2014 with runs to the last eight of three Grand Slams – including the final at Roland Garros – and was a popular player among stars and fans alike.

After her crowning moments in Paris and Wimbledon, though, she returned a positive test for the banned substance roxadustat at the 2022 US Open before it emerged that there were abnormalities in her biological passport.

The doping news stunned the world of tennis and impacted her reputation for many while Williams took a cheeky dig.

She was initially suspended then slapped with a shock four-year ban – until October 2026 – but this was reduced on appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport to nine months in March 2024, freeing Halep to make her tennis comeback.

The Bucharest ace has played just five matches since her return, winning her only one in the first round of the WTA 125 Hong Kong Open in October.

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Now she is figuring out what the future holds – while reflecting positively on her superb tennis career.

Halep added: “We’ll see what happens next. Life moves forward, and I’ll take things as they come.

“Tennis is not everything in life. I have many desires and goals beyond the sport.

“Everything I have done has been extraordinary… I may not have even dreamed of becoming world No1 and winning two Grand Slam titles.

“I worked hard for it, and I feel fulfilled as a tennis player.

“Now, I want to do something else, not just tennis. The first part of my life was all about tennis, now I want to explore other things.”

Simona Halep returning a tennis ball during a US Open match.
Halep failed her drugs test at the 2022 US Open and has played just five matches since her comeback
Getty

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