AMAD’S quickfire treble saved Manchester United – before the crowd saved him!

The wideman forgot to take the match ball after his late hat-trick overturned a Manuel Ugarte own goal as the Red Devils sunk bottom side Southampton 3-1.

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The Ivorian had clinched his hat-trick with this simple finish[/caption]

Amad booted the ball into the ecstatic fans behind the goal.

But in a moment described by viewers as “wholesome,” supporters quickly propelled it back.

And although he had briefly forgotten the tradition of keeping the ball for netting three goals, fans will always remember his 12 minutes of magic.

Having switched from wing-back into a more attacking role, Amad first snaked into the box to lash an 82nd-minute equaliser.

He then volleyed the Red Devils in front just before time added on – following a sublime return pass from sub Christian Eriksen.

And four minutes into stoppage time Amad punished Taylor Harwood-Bellis’ crazy attempt to play out from the back by rolling in his third strike.

The Ivorian soon lapped up the roars of joy and relief around a relieved Old Trafford on the final whistle.

He shocked many fans by handing over the ball but what happened next delighted viewers.

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Amad was in dreamland after his third goal but later dozily forgot something…[/caption]

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One observer posted: “The crowd giving Amad the ball back because he’d forgotten the hat trick means he leaves with the match ball was wholesome.  

Another wrote: “He gave the crowd the ball, the crowd sent it back. Take it Amad.”

And a third proclaimed: “Plays RWB, scores a hat-trick and wins the game by himself. Amad Diallo is the face of Manchester United.”

A fourth viewer suggested the exciting star had failed to stand out when United struggled for most of the match – before bursting into life with his triple treat.

The fan posted: “Amad had an average game but talent will out. Worth x2 Garnachos. “

The 22-year-old himself said: “I’m ready to play any position. I’m ready to fight for this club, for Manchester United.

“Three goals in 12 minutes? Well, in football you always have to believe”.

Meanwhile, many viewers pointed out that Amad has notched a first Prem hat-trick before both unsettled team-mate Marcus Rashford, 27, and Arsenal’s 23-year-old winger Bukayo Saka.

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FELICITY CROSS is invited into the Love Island wardrobe department to dress like the villa stars.

They are tanned and toned and have already made the Love Island villa their catwalk, sporting eye-popping outfits.

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ITV

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Felicity tried on a blazer like India Reynolds[/caption]

Eroteme

In their vinyl cut-out dresses and sparkly crop tops, the All Stars girls on parade in Cape Town, South Africa could not be further from, well, normal women like me.

I’m days off turning 40 and more likely to wear jeans than anything skimpy.

But there’s one thing different about this year’s Islanders — they’re all a little bit older than is usual on the show.

India Reynolds is 34, Ekin-Su Culculoglu is 30 and Elma Pazar is 31.

The lads clocked up even more years — Marcel Somerville is 39 and Scott Thomas 36.

So I set Love Island wardrobe mistress Amy Bannerman a challenge: Could someone like me really dress up like these (slightly older) Islanders?

Amy is the style director behind the dating show’s partnership with eBay, which is now in its sixth series.

She curates designer looks for the Islanders by picking out pre-loved pieces from the online marketplace.

So her challenge with me was two-fold.

Could she not only dress me, but also prove such head-turning outfits can really be found online?

She says: “That’s the beauty of eBay. The more high-end pre-loved pieces aren’t necessarily expensive.

“For example, the red Jean Paul Gaultier Junior co-ord that Tasha (Ghouri) wore was £40. That’s cheaper than buying something on the high street.”

I remain a little sceptical. After all, I am no Tasha, with her tiny, dancer’s body.

But with about 30 pieces at her disposal, Amy is convinced this year’s big trend of tailoring is the way to go.

She suggests a boxy black suit – Acne Studios blazer and Alexander McQueen trousers with a pop of colour from a vintage Prada bralet.

“Errr, the midriff’s not great,” I venture, already regretting the mac and cheese I wolfed down for lunch.

But Amy replies: “Tailoring is a massive thing this season and something we’ve done a lot of for this year’s Islanders — blazer dresses, or tailored shorts with big blazers over the top.

“It works, because Cape Town can get chilly at night, and is even better if you’re tummy-conscious because you have the blazer to cover up.”

‘With high-waist, the zip accentuates the bloat’

With a very deep breath in, I pull on the three-piece and am stunned — I probably ought to be pouting rather than grinning, but I feel totally tropical.

Amy was right, concerns about my flabby abs are banished.

I was also chuffed to see gorgeous India wearing the same kind of masculine, oversized blazer in the villa on Tuesday night next to the firepit.

At £295 for the whole outfit, it was also budget-friendly.

Latest research for eBay found that the average person is sitting on up to £400 worth of unworn clothing, so there are plenty of items coming on sale all the time.

Amy tells me: “I found a velvet Christopher Kane dress I have had on my mental shopping list for ages — it was £90 but retails in store now for £995. It’s absolutely worth scouring eBay or setting up searches for items you want.”

Rex

Ekin-Su on the reality show[/caption]

Next, she helps with something straight out of Ekin-Su Culculoglu’s wardrobe — a short, diamante-clad corset dress from David Koma.

Amy says: “Ekin loves anything tight and sparkly, and when she came in for fitting she remembered pieces from her first season.

She was saying, ‘Tasha wore that!’ — and found her own finale dress, too.”

I’m no bombshell but, buoyed by the success of the first outfit, I gamely squeeze into the mini-dress and convince myself I’m working the look.

Taut bodies and designer gear help but what Islanders have is confidence

Amy reckons the beauty of high-end gear is that the fit and fabric are more flattering than cheaper items.

She adds of the Islanders’ fashion preferences: “They’re quite specific. A lot of them don’t like sequins.

“None of them seem to like florals which I find interesting — a lot say things like, ‘Oh that’s really Nana-ish’.

“Last All Stars, Hannah was very extra and loved her own style.”

It turns out Amy’s final selection was my Everest, as a lumpy, bumpy size 12.

The vintage, bodycon leopard-print dress by Dolce & Gabbana – £125 – was stunning and, of all the items, was something I was praying I would look good in.

It was great but I’d need some industrial Spanx or plenty more body confidence to strut into the villa in this clingy frock. So, how do the Islanders cope with tummy bloat?

Amy says: “Tailoring is useful. With trousers, I really like when they sit lower on your waist. With high-waist, the zip accentuates the bloat. Things that sit lower help to flatten everything but the main thing is stay comfy, and layering is handy.”

That doesn’t help me now, though, and the leopard-print number feels like a leap too far.

Which ended up my biggest lesson — taut bodies and designer gear help but what Islanders have is confidence, and I’m not sure even eBay stocks that.

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Amy Bannerman is the style director behind the dating show’s partnership with eBay, which is now in its sixth series[/caption]

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Felicity chooses between outfits[/caption]

ONCE the enemy of fashion, fleeces have made a shock comeback – but not everyone’s a fan. 

Here our fashion experts debate whether they are a style crime or a must-have.

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Florence Pugh was spotted dashing between Paris fashion shows in a cream- coloured, Borg style Fleece made by Patou[/caption]

HOT

Says Abby McHale, Deputy Fashion Editor

I HATE to say it, but I’m a sucker for a trend and have fallen hook, line and sinker for the fleece.

GC Images

Modern-day It Girl Kaia Gerber wore this orange number out and about[/caption]

BackGrid

Model Gigi Hadid is also a fan of the fleece[/caption]

An item that was once reserved for walking your dog, pottering in the garden and worn by geography teachers, they were certainly never considered “on trend”.

But, after being embraced by celebrities such as Katie Holmes and Vogue Williams, they have made a comeback. Not only that, they have officially been made cool.

And what’s not to love about them? They are comfy, practical and, most importantly, warm.

Plus, they don’t have to cost a fortune. You can pick one up from Primark for as little as £7.

Marks & Spencer’s latest Goodmove collection features some great patterned varieties, and I love Irish brand 4th Arq’s half-zip fleeces so much that I already have them in multiple colours.

While they may be the answer to all my problems during the winter months, not everyone in my house is a fan.

“How can you get away with wearing something like that?” my boyfriend exclaimed when he saw my teal patterned Columbia fleece. “It looks like the Nineties threw up on it.”

He had a point. This particular fleece does look only one step away from having the dreaded wolf on it.

Sales boost

“It’s fashion,” I clapped back as he shook his head, bemoaning the fact he would never get away with wearing one.

But he is wrong. Fleeces are just as fashionable these days for men as they are for women.

Yes, I am a total cliche. I wear mine mainly at the weekend for pottering around the house, doing my weekly food shop and heading out for a walk.

But so what? They keep me warm, they are easy to throw on and go, and are so comfortable.

I have started to wear them with jeans, for when I need something a bit more “dressed-up” than loungewear.

I may even be tempted to wear one to the office

Abby McHale

I may even be tempted to wear one to the office.

And I’m not alone, because 4th Arq had a 102 per cent boost in revenue year on year thanks to its best-selling half-zip fleeces, which have consistently been selling out since the launch two years ago.

So while some people may not be a fan, I think I look good in a fleece.

And if I remember rightly, my geography teacher was a pretty stylish lady too.

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I think I look good in a fleece, says Abby[/caption]

NOT

Says Clemmie Fieldsend, Fashion Editor

WHEN I think of fleeces, a standout style comes to mind: The wolf.

Instagram

Vogue Williams has also embraced the look[/caption]

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The dreaded wolf design from Nineties[/caption]

You know the type — plastered with one of the fearsome beasts howling from a mountainous snowscape, or silhouetted against a moonlit skyline. Hardly screams fashion, does it?

While fleeces might be practical and have come a long, long way (even designer brand Miu Miu has a £1,750 sold-out style) I can’t shake the image of those market-stall designs that littered the high street of my hometown.

Last year, the soft pile came back into the fashion fold when modern-day It Girls Kendall Jenner, Kaia Gerber, Gigi Hadid and the like all started wearing them.

Actress Florence Pugh was spotted, main picture, left dashing between Paris fashion shows in a cream-coloured, Borg style made by French brand Patou, with a £890 price tag.

But while Florence looked good in the deep-piled jacket with matching separates, I couldn’t help thinking: “Sure, in a £900 outfit, skipping through Parisian streets, we’d all look good.’

But unfortunately that is not the reality. Canine fleeces aside, other styles don’t have a fashionable reputation either.

I remember dads and tweens wearing garish, brightly coloured patchwork versions in the 1990s. Or they would be worn by uncool teachers on school trips — and be mocked mercilessly.

Sad attempt

They are also frequently found on the backs of National Trust park rangers and camping enthusiasts. Essential wear for them, of course, but for looking good? Not so much.

To my horror, fleeces are now pitching up on the high street again

Clemmie Fieldsend, Fashion Editor

To my horror, fleeces are now pitching up on the high street again.

Once, only trendy types embraced gorpcore — wearing outdoorsy clothing in urban settings.

But now everyone from M&S to H&M is jumping on the bandwagon.

It has reached its peak, and the cool types have been replaced by the average Joe making it untrendy and over-saturated.

Gen-Zers wear theirs for the 20-step skincare routine, overpriced coffee dates and to the office.

Meanwhile, yummy mummies are slipping them on in a sad attempt to look “cool” on the school run.

Without knowing it, the masses jumping on board what once was a novel trend have reached peak Borg-dom.

Even Jenner and Hadid have stopped wearing them, now that us normal folk have adopted the look in our droves.

Be it from Patagonia or Primark, my advice is this: Give the fleece a miss.

Jonas O'Sullivan - Commissioned by the sun fabulous magazine

My advice is this: Give the fleece a miss, says Clemmie[/caption]

COSY UP TO HIGH STREET FAB FLEECES

WANT to stay cosy in the cold? Pick up one of Deputy Fashion Editor Abby McHale’s picks for the top fleeces on the high street.

M&S

Cream and purple, £45, M&S[/caption]

• Buy here

Primark

Green, £7, Primark[/caption]

• Buy here

4th ARQ

Red, £35, 4th Arq[/caption]

• Buy here

Next

Multicoloured, £48, Next[/caption]

• Buy here

Fat Face

Leaf pattern, £69, Fatface[/caption]

• Buy here

George

Khaki, £18, George at Asda[/caption]

• Buy here

CragHoppers

Orange, was £85, now £34, Craghoppers[/caption]

• Buy here

H&M

Cream, £27.99, H&M[/caption]

• Buy here

Defiant BBC

NO apology, no contrition from the shameless BBC for promoting the vile rhyming rants of Jimmy Mizen’s merciless killer.

Instead it spat out a defiant statement that BBC Radio 1Xtra only ever played two tracks, had no idea who Jake Fahri was and “in no way condone his actions”.

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Jimmy Mizen, left, and his merciless killer Jake Fahri, right[/caption]

A relief, that, since he is the cold-blooded murderer of an innocent teen.

Why did they not bother to do even a few seconds’ due diligence about the “drill” rapper hiding behind the balaclava?

It doesn’t seem to have troubled them to air the vicious outpourings of an anonymous, swaggering thug, glorying in the use of knives and machetes.

The BBC did belatedly take Fahri off its website yesterday.

Any broadcaster would have, albeit faster.

But the BBC, as Keir Starmer says, must remember its “unique responsibility”.

It exists only thanks to a £3.6billion annual bung extracted by law from us all.

It has to take criticism seriously.

The BBC must apologise to the Mizens.

And the Justice Ministry must investigate whether Fahri breached his probation with sick lyrics glorifying murder and should be put back behind bars where he belongs.

Rape probe dud

FIRST we were told demanding a national inquiry into grooming gangs was “jumping on a far-right bandwagon”.

Then the Government argued that a ­limited previous probe was ample.

Now Home Secretary Yvette Cooper says there WILL be a three-month “audit” to gauge the scale of the crisis — plus new local inquiries and some cold cases reopened.

But the inquiries initially cover just five areas.

What about the scores of others where girls were raped by ­Pakistani-origin gangs?

And what use is all this without ­witnesses being forced to testify?

It looks like a smokescreen thrown up in panic by a Government terrified of what a full public inquiry might expose:

The appalling failure of left-wing politicians and officials, their warped take on multiculturalism and their hyperliberal tolerance of the intolerable.

Candid Kemi

KEMI Badenoch’s blunt language on immigration and much else raises eyebrows only because it is more honest and direct than the saccharine liberal-left drivel both major parties fed us for so long.

When the Tory leader says migrants unwilling to embrace British life and culture should leave, she’s right.

Failing to enforce that has made us a magnet for Islamist extremism.

We welcome too Kemi’s apology for her party signing us up to Net Zero by 2050 without a clue how to pay for it.

Her mission is to rebuild trust in the Tories.

Her refreshing frankness is a promising start.

LOVE Island All Stars’ Casey O’Gorman awkwardly spotted foundation on Ronnie Vint’s jacket after he snogged two girls.

Casey, 28, bursted into laugher after realising Ronnie‘s clothing gave away his smooches with Kaz Crossley, 29, and Elma Pazar, 31.

ITV

Love Island All Stars’ Casey O’Gorman awkwardly spotted foundation on Ronnie Vint’s jacket after he snogged two girls[/caption]

ITV

Ronnie licked his hand and wiping his jacket in an attempt to remove the stain[/caption]

The footballer, 28, came under fire after taking Kaz out to the Secret Garden and locking lips with her just moment after doing the same with Towie‘s Elma.

When he returned to the firepit with the boys, Casey cheekily remarked in tonight’s episode, “Naughty boy, is that foundation on your jacket? Is that Kaz or Elma?”

Ronnie was then seen licking his hand and wiping his jacket in an attempt to remove the stain.

Also in the installment, Elma furiously confronted the Kent native for his betrayal just moments after their own kiss.

Ronnie firmly denied leaning in for the kiss, telling Elma, “No, I really didn’t.”

However, the footage showed otherwise, as Ronnie clearly leaned into Kaz’s lap and put his hands on her face, resulting in them locking lips.

Love Island All Stars viewers were quick to spot the discrepancy and flooded social media with their reactions.

One fan wrote: “I see Ronnie still hasn’t learned that the villa has cameras.”

Another pointed out: “People on Instagram saying Kaz is a snake and that she leant in for the kiss.

“I’ve just finished catching up on the episode, and she was genuinely mid-conversation, and he leaned all the way over into her space.”

A third added: “Now Ronnie, why are you lying exactly? I need more than four weeks of this season, please.”

Others were even more direct in their criticism.

One viewer hit out: “Ronnie just bare face lying for no reason, wholly unserious human.”

“The way Ronnie just lies is crazy. Like, sir, WE SAW YOU IN 4K initiating the kiss,” another exclaimed.

Rex

Ronnie snogged Kaz Crossley during yesterday’s episode[/caption]

Eroteme

IT’S pretty easy to miss  AFC Bournemouth.

For starters, the club’s thumbprint of a stadium is almost hidden from the sweep of the passing A338 with its promise of the beach and the lure of inviting seaside towns further down the South-West holiday highways.

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Attacking stars like Antoine Semenyo have fired Bournemouth o eighth[/caption]

Alamy

Andoni Iraola has dealt with injuries better than big-name bosses[/caption]

And much like ‘invisible kids’ at school who get overlooked in favour of the naughty class clowns, or the captains of the sports teams, everything they do on the football pitch comes and goes in the blink of an eye.

Manager Andoni Iraola comes across as an affable Spaniard, who would do it in a nice way even if he did say boo to a goose.
He wears middle-aged, turtle neck sweaters.

His predecessor Eddie Howe was regarded in a similar way before taking the plunge to join the world’s richest club in Newcastle. There could not be a greater contrast.

Howe faces a cosy reunion with his old team on Saturday lunchtime  looking over his shoulder at the Cherries, who are just four points behind in what is a remarkable, sustained assault on the Premier League top ten.

From a club which by modern-day yardsticks should not even be in the division.

For more than half an hour on Tuesday night, Iraola’s team was level on points with billionaire boys’ club Chelsea before conceding a 95th-minute equaliser.

That was with six academy kids on the bench and no recognised striker because of an injury list equal if not worse than those at  Manchester City, Arsenal or Tottenham.

Record £31.5million signing Evanilson has a broken foot.

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Enes Unal tore ligaments in his knee the same day confirmation of his fellow striker’s predicament was announced. How’s your luck?

Marcos Senesi, Julian Araujo and Alex Scott are in various stages of recovery from surgery on various parts of their bodies.

Luis Sinisterra has not played since the 2-0 win over ten-man Arsenal in October.

Taking Chelsea to the wire  on Tuesday was done in the absence of defender James Hill who came off  early  with a hamstring problem.

But while Mikel Arteta, Pep Guardiola and Ange Postecoglou can reach for the keys to the club safe during the winter transfer window to bring in the reinforcements they hope will turn things around, there is no such luxury down at the Vitality Stadium.

Bournemouth won’t be buying any more permanent players to add to the whopping £8m deal for Julio Soler.

Even if the Gunners do not rush out and splash £150m on Alexander Isak, with Gabriel Jesus crocked long-term, the pressure is on boss Arteta to go out and buy big up front.

Serial champions City have slumped so are looking to splash upwards of £100m on a forward and two defenders between now and February 3.

Centre-back Vitor Reis, 19, looks like one for the future at the Etihad — yet at £33m he cost more than  Bournemouth’s biggest ever one-off outlay  on Brazilian striker Evanilson, now sitting with his foot up at home.

Struggling Tottenham have bought a new goalkeeper — the Cherries couldn’t even play their first choice on Tuesday because he is on loan from Chelsea.

And they only got the deal over the line with Spaniard Kepa Arrizabalaga in the first place because they know each other from Athletic Bilbao.

Whether or not the bigger clubs actually do any major  business this month is irrelevant.

The Times

Arsenal boss Mikel Arteta and Man City counterpart Pep Guardiola have had plenty to say when their squads have suffered injuries[/caption]

The fact they can is the point. And everybody knows about it too, courtesy of social media and Sky Sports.

Iraola’s no-nonsense side are quietly getting on with things, yet are looking a lot of larger teams firmly in the  eye — and down at some like Spurs and Manchester United.

This weekend heralds the start of a hellish run for Iraola.

After Newcastle it’s third-placed Nottingham Forest then leaders Liverpool. You could say it’s make-or-break time but given their recent luck with fitness that’s tempting fate.

Club captain Adam Smith and Marcus Tavernier are also sidelined for good measure.

Bournemouth’s highest finish in the Premier League is ninth and they are on course to beat that.

And that is in spite of an injury list that would have higher-profile managers sobbing on telly.

But if they do hang on against the odds, it is something worth shouting about. But they won’t because it’s not their style.

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AS The Masked Singer demonstrated so perfectly this week, hell hath no fury like a Toad In The Hole scorned.

Or, more precisely, like a Macy Gray scorned.

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Macy Gray brought drama to the Masked Singer when she stormed off[/caption]

ITV

Macy was unveiled as the Toad-in-the-Hole[/caption]

So livid was the American singer, in fact, after losing Saturday night’s tie-breaking vote to Bear, that she waddled off stage as soon as the announcement was made and it took more than an hour of frantic pleading and negotiations before they could coax the old dingbat back for the big reveal.

A moment for viewers to treasure as celebrity walkouts are a vanishingly rare treat in our saccharine-sweet, PR- controlled telly world, occurring at a rate of no more than once every five years, at best.

The Bee Gees set the gold standard, of course, on a 1997 episode of the Clive Anderson show, but there hasn’t been one as good as Macy’s since Piers Morgan exited Good Morning Britain, chins first, after a row with Alex the weatherman, back in March 2021.

Less is more

Whereas Piers’ hissy fit signalled the beginning of the end of Good Morning Britain as must-see television, Macy’s strop was so gloriously demeaning and unexpected I started to think it might just lead to a revival in fortunes for The Masked Singer, which ended its second series, in February 2021, with more than 10million viewers watching Joss Stone win the title as “Sausage”.

A smarter network than ITV would’ve had the good sense to leave this phenomenon well alone.

But the fools in charge here, who don’t understand the basic economics of supply and demand or even the concept of less is more, couldn’t help but interfere and turned a genuine event into just another money-hoovering process by introducing The Masked Dancer spin-off and I’m A Celeb “specials”.

With the result? At the start of the current run, there were just four million viewers trying to guess the identity of Toad In The Hole, Wolf, Teeth, Kingfisher (Harry Hill?) and the gang, via a series of clues that even Bletchley Park in its WWII heyday would’ve struggled to unscramble.

That may be the biggest reason, in fact, why my ­personal intrigue has switched from the acts to the panel of judges.

A weirdly dysfunctional group, this lot, who, with one honourable exception, are so hopelessly lost without a script and an autocue, you’d struggle to believe three of them had even watched ­television, let alone worked in it for decades.

Maya Jama has something of an excuse, of course, even if she couldn’t ad-lib a fit of the hiccups, as she is a relative newcomer to the show and the medium.

Mo Gilligan, however, is a comedian without a funny thought in his head who only ever makes me laugh when, in all apparent sincerity, he’s looking Wolf up and down saying: “It could be Bono from U2 in there.”

It really couldn’t, Mo.

Though in terms of odd performances, he’s got nothing on Davina McCall, a woman possessed who appears to be frantically compiling algorithms, probability charts and figures from the Office for National Statistics during the performances and then turns to host Joel Dommett and says: “I think Toad In The Hole could be Courtney Love.”

Thank God then for Jonathan Ross, the only panellist who can think on his feet and is having to cover for all of them.

When they’re stupid, he has to be serious and guess correctly.

When they’re serious, he has to be funny and crack a joke at his own expense.

It was no real surprise then when it was left to Jonathan to try to dig them all out of a crater when Toad In The Hole finally reappeared for unveiling, on Saturday and revealed a woman so angry I thought for one minute it was George Foreman in that outfit and Joel was about to get a grilling machine shoved up his ar*e.

Nor did things improve during her interview.

“We are thrilled to have you here doing the show.”

“Thanks.”

“You were incredible, Macy.”

“Thanks.”

And on and on it went, until Jonathan tried to defuse the atmosphere by poking fun at the host and I started thinking that maybe Macy will be able to salvage her career and The Masked Singer will rise again to 10million viewers.

Then Joel hit her with his final question. “Macy, have you enjoyed the show?”

No, Joel, she has not. But at least she’s still got her dignity.

ITV

Jonathan Ross is the only panellist who can think on his feet and is having to cover for all of them[/caption]

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UNDERSTATEMENT of the year?

Crime+Investigation, a friend of The Eunuch Maker, who was given a life prison sentence for mutilating men in the most grotesque manner imaginable: “I would say he probably lacked some social skills.”

Yeah. I would too.

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UNEXPECTED MORONS IN THE BAGGING AREA

LIMITLESS Win, Dec: “In current UK money, a £2 coin is worth how many pence?”

Khajal: “60.”

The Chase: Celebrity Special, Bradley Walsh: “Cathay is the in-flight magazine of what Hong Kong airline?”

Harry Judd: “Singapore Airlines.”

The Weakest Link, Romesh ­Ranganathan: “According to a popular saying, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw what? Parties or stones?”

Janette Manrara: “Sticks.”

The Chase, Bradley Walsh: “In a novel by Alexandre Dumas, how are Athos, Porthos and Aramis better known?”

Jane: “Bill and Ben.”

RANDOM TV IRRITATIONS

M&S Food advertising its beetroot brain balls during Crime+Investigation HD’s documentary The Eunuch Maker.

BBC News propagandist Justin Rowlatt blaming absolutely everything on climate change.

BBC1 allowing the Eve Mansour character and its desperation for a “strong female” presence to destroy the credibility of SAS Rogue Heroes.

And C4’s health and safety obsessives telling Celebrity Hunted viewers, “Do not ­recreate anything portrayed in this ­episode”, thereby forcing me to abandon all the plans I had to chase Denise Welch and her ­husband Lincoln Townley round a Norfolk cornfield in a helicopter.

ALL THE SINGLE LADDIES

A MERE 24 weeks after the last marathon ended, up popped host Maya Jama this week, to tell ITV2 viewers: “The wait is finally over.

“It’s time for Love Island: All Stars.”

Rex

Love Island: All Star’s Marcel, who is 39[/caption]

A flattering description for a fairly desperate collection of retreads, life failures and others that are simply too old for this caper, like Scott, 36, who’s “been on a journey of sobriety and personal development”, but cannot kick his addiction to clapped-out dating shows, and 39-year-old Marcel, who should be scrolling through SilverSingles for a companion to enjoy “whatever time he’s got left”.

The really daft thing about the class of 2025: Part One, though, is that if they haven’t already had each other they’re certainly overfamiliar with everyone else from the Love Island celebrity circuit, which seems to keep the franchise going during those few months of the year when it’s not actually on air.

The egos on them all are quite something to behold as well and generally begin with the Islanders trying to explain their mega-fame with a “best known” sentence.

As in, Kaz: “I’m best known for stealing Josh from Georgia in Casa Amor,” or Curtis: “I’m best known for making everyone coffee in the morning.”

If they’re “best known” for anything, however, it’s behaving like conceited jerks.

The absolute master of this dark art being an unemployed fishmonger called Luca Bish, who took one look at his own reflection, on Monday night, and sighed: “I don’t know who that is, but he is one sexy fella.”

With the crushing irony here being, I was in word-for-word agreement, right up until the “one sexy fella” part.

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IF, like Crime+ Investigation presenter Marcel Theroux, you were wondering halfway through this two-part bloodbath: “Who is the real Eunuch Maker?”

I think it’s the casting director of EastEnders.

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LOOKALIKE OF THE WEEK

THIS week’s winner is Linda from The Traitors and Coronation Street legend Reg Holdsworth.

Emailed in by Bailey James.

Lookalike of the week wins a copy of A Funny Way Of Life, Matt Bendoris’s definitive biography of The Krankies.

GREAT SPORTING INSIGHTS

PAUL MERSON: “The kid is 27. He’s not a kid.”

Gareth Ainsworth: “The defender doesn’t look over his shoulder even once – Not once. Maybe once there.”

And Michael Dawson: “You can’t win football matches unless you win.”

(Compiled by Graham Wray)

TV GOLD

THE eagerly awaited return of C5’s so-bad-it’s-intoxicating drama The Good Ship Murder, with Shayne Ward.

The Harry Hill/Stacey Solomon combination creating a strong contender for the best ever episode of BBC1’s wonderful Would I Lie To You?.

Julie Nicholson’s beautiful story about the London black cab driver, which may help restore your faith in humanity, during episode three of 7/7: The London Bombings, on BBC2.

And a brilliant return to form from C4’s 24 Hours In Police Custody: The Norfolk Narco Cartel, which couldn’t quite nail the Mr Big figure who’s been flooding the East Anglian county with Colombian cocaine, but I’m guessing it isn’t Pablo Escobaaaarrr.

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CELEBRITY Hunted update: Denise Welch and Lincoln Townley have just come out of “hiding” live on ITV’s Loose Women, which was witnessed by many thousands of ­people.

David Whitely unsuccessfully tried to “hide” at The London ­Podcast Show, which was also witnessed by many thousands of people.

Colin Hutton / Channel 4

Celebrity Hunted’s Denise Welch and Lincoln Townley[/caption]

Duncan James and Christine McGuinness are planning to “hide” at Worcestershire’s Mello festival, which will be witnessed by many thousands of people.

And newsreader Simon McCoy is on his way to “hide” on The ­Vanessa Feltz Show, which seems like a smart move.

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GREAT TV LIES AND DELUSIONS OF THE MONTH

Love Island: All Stars, Catherine: “The set is ­beautiful, but I make it more beautiful because I’m a star.”

Celebrity Mastermind, Sindhu Vee: “Comedian.”

And This Morning, “aura reader” Fiongal Greenlaw Meek: “An aura, from a scientific perspective, is . . .”

Let me stop you there, Fiongal.

Bulls**t.

ACTRESS Renee Zellweger is about to bring Bridget Jones back to the big screen — after having more transformations than her weight-obsessed character has had big knickers.

Many fans now find the Hollywood star’s changing face over the years as intriguing as her tumultuous love life.

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2014: Renee Zellweger arrives at the 2014 Elle Women In Hollywood Awards[/caption]

Nikolai Von Bismarck

Renee on the new cover of British Vogue[/caption]

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In a new photo shoot for British Vogue, the 55-year-old actress looks like a dead ringer for a young Sharon Stone, sporting sharp suits and short blonde hair.

While some fans described the look as “beautiful” on Instagram, others weren’t so sure and accused Renee of “being airbrushed to oblivion” and undergoing cosmetic surgery.

One Vogue follower, Karina Barrett, wrote: “A stunning lady that for some reason has been made unrecognisable? Don’t get it?”

Another, Kathleen Pert, added: “My God I hope you did that to her face in production and it’s not permanent.”

A third commented: “Wow surgery is a bit out of control.”

The Vogue shoot has once again put the Jerry Maguire star under scrutiny over her ever-morphing looks.

She has been pictured over the years with an apparently slimmer, smoother-looking face and fuller lips.

Her most startling change was in 2014 when she raised eyebrows on the red carpet of Elle magazine’s Women in Hollywood Awards, where she appeared to have wider, open eyes.

Renee put the 2014 look down to a change of lifestyle after stepping away from a hectic schedule that “didn’t allow for taking care of myself.”

She said at the time: “Not that it’s anyone’s business, but I did not make a decision to alter my face and have surgery on my eyes.

“I’m glad folks think I look different. I’m living a different, happy, more fulfilling life, and I’m thrilled that perhaps it shows.”

Could it be that British boyfriend Ant Anstead, of Wheeler Dealers fame, is the motivation for her latest “happiness” makeover?

Renee this week let it slip that the couple are now living together in San Diego with Ant’s “little boy” after dating for four years.

‘I like my quirkiness’

Ant, who met the actress while filming an episode of his Discovery+ series Celebrity IOU Joyride, has a five-year-old son Hudson with his ex-wife Christina Haack.

He also shares daughter Amelie, 21, and son Archie, 18, with his ex-wife Louis Anstead.

Eagle-eyed fans have speculated the pair have secretly married as Ant has referred to Renee as his “missus” in several social media posts.

Their union is certainly a happy ending for Renee who has been as unlucky in love as her chain-smoking, singleton alter-ego in the past.

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1999: At LA launch of rom-com The Bachelor[/caption]

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1999: Posing backstage at MTV Awards[/caption]

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2000: Attending VH-1 Fashion Awards[/caption]

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2002: New York movie premiere of Chicago[/caption]

The double-Oscar winner was previously wed to country star Kenny Chesney for just four months, citing “fraud” as the reason for splitting in 2005.

She was then engaged to comic actor Jim Carrey for a year before being romantically linked to Bradley Cooper, who she met filming 2009 horror mystery Case 39.

Between 2012 and 2019, she was in a long-term relationship with musician Doyle Bramhall, an American guitarist, producer and songwriter who has worked with Eric Clapton and Pink Floyd founder Roger Waters.

Harley Street plastic surgeon Dr Riccardo Frati reckons Renee is likely to have had Botox, fillers and perhaps eyelid surgery — but that ageing and weight fluctuations for roles would have also played their part in the star’s ever-changing looks.

Dr Frati, who has not treated her personally, said: “It is important to remember that when thinking about Renee, we all think about the 32-year-old Bridget Jones.

“However, she had to put on 25kg to play that role. It is also known that she had to do the same for other roles.

“I can see her eyebrows are much higher than before, and this could suggest a brow lift and Botox. Renee has naturally hooded eyes, but by comparing photos, I can see that she may have had eyelid surgery.

“It looks like fillers have been used to create a better balance on her midface and jawline.”

Renee revealed the finds all the talk around her looks “sad.”

She said: “I don’t look at beauty that way. And I don’t think of myself that way. I like my weird quirkiness, my off-kilter mix of things. It enables me to do what I do.

“I don’t want to be something else. I got hired in my blue jeans and cowboy boots with my messy hair. I started working like that.”

Whatever the case, fans are on tenterhooks for the fourth and final Bridget Jones movie, Mad About The Boy, which follows our heroine navigating life as a widow without Colin Firth’s Mr Darcy.

In her Vogue interview, Renee reveals she spent two weeks “undercover” at a London publishing house to prepare for the role of PR girl Bridget before the first movie in 2001.

She says nobody guessed who she was, adding: “Maybe I was out of context or maybe it was having more chubby cheeks. It was odd.”

Whether Texan Renee will want to remain in the spotlight for long after is anyone’s guess.

The nine-time Oscar nominee took a break from acting between 2010 and 2016 and now reveals how she spent the time.

She said: “I wrote music, studied international law. I built a house, rescued a pair of older doggies, created a partnership that led to a production company, advocated for and fundraised with a sick friend, and spent a lot of time with family and godchildren and driving across the country with the dogs.”

It sounds like the perfect life for a certain Bridget Jones.

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2004: Nominee at Baftas in London[/caption]

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2015: Guest at the Children’s Network Gala in London[/caption]

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Alamy

OLE GUNNAR SOLSKJAER is close to being appointed manager of Euro giants Besiktas.

The Turkish club have been without a manager since sacking Giovanni van Bronckhorst last month.

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Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is in advanced talks to return to management[/caption]

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The Norweigan has not been in post since being sacked by Man Utd four years ago[/caption]

Solskjaer, 51, has not held a managerial role since leaving Manchester United in 2021.

The former Red Devils striker helped guide United to a second-place finish in the Premier League and reached a Europa League final.

According to Fabrizio Romano, negotiations between Solksjaer and Besiktas are in the “final stages.”

Solksjaer is set to sign a “one-and-a-half-year contract” with the Turkish club.

He is due to watch Besiktas’ game against Samsunspor this weekend from the stands in Istanbul.

The 51-year-old has been linked to the vacant Leicester City and West Ham jobs over the past year.

Ole was also touted for a shock return to Old Trafford before Ruben Amorim took the helm.

Solksjaer spent nine seasons with United as a player, winning six Premier League titles and scoring over 100 goals.

FOOTBALL FREE BETS AND SIGN UP DEALS

The former super sub took on the manager’s role at the Theatre of Dreams in 2018 after a successful spell in interim charge.

But he was sacked less than three years later.

Besiktas would be the fourth club of Solksjaer’s managerial career.

He has also taken charge of Cardiff City and Molde, twice winning the Tippeligaen with the Norwegian side.

Besiktas are currently sixth in the Turkish Super Lig with 30 points from 18 games.

Leaders Galatasaray are in charge of the title race, with former United boss Jose Mourinho‘s Fenerbache giving chase.

The Special One has railed against the Super Lig and its officials in recent weeks, branding the league “toxic”.

DONALD Trump gives a menacing look in a new official portrait released just days before he returns to the White House.

The President-elect, 75, scowled for the camera in the brightly lit snap while wearing a blue suit over white shirt and blue tie while sporting an American flag in his lapel.

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Donald Trump gives a menacing look in a new official portrait released just days before he returns to the White House[/caption]

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Joe Biden delivered a bumbling farewell from the White House’s Oval Office[/caption]

Trump will be sworn in as the 47th President of the United States at Washington DC’s Capitol on Monday.

His transition team also released an official pic of incoming Vice President JD Vance.

The team said in a statement on Thursday: “In just four days, Donald J. Trump will be sworn in as the 47th President of the United States and JD Vance as the 50th Vice President of the United States — and their official portraits are here.

“Official portraits released – and they go hard.”

Meanwhile Trump’s political enemy Joe Biden delivered a bumbling farewell from the White House’s Oval Office on Wednesday evening.

Sitting behind the Resolute Desk, the 82-year-old outgoing President gave a 19-minute address to the nation.

Biden warned that an “oligarchy” is emerging in America in what many saw as a swipe at Trump and his billionaire tech tycoon backer Elon Musk.

With a raspy voice, he said: “I want to warn the country of some things that give me great concern.

“And this is a dangerous concern.

“And that’s the dangerous concentration of power in the hands of a very few ultra-wealthy people.

“Today, an oligarchy is taking shape in America of extreme wealth, power and influence that literally threatens our entire democracy, our basic rights and freedoms, and a fair shot for everyone to get ahead.”

Biden also cautioned against what he described as the “real dangers” of social media.

He said: “I’m equally concerned about the potential rise of a tech industrial complex that could pose real dangers for our country, as well.

“Americans are being buried under an avalanche of misinformation and disinformation, enabling the abuse of power.

“The free press is crumbling, editors are disappearing.

“Social media is giving up on fact checking.

“The truth is smothered by lies told for power and for profit.

“We must hold the social platforms accountable to protect our children, our families and our very democracy from the abuse of power.”